Scarred for Life
by ByTheAngel99
Summary: Clary was only 8 when her dad forced her to kill an innocent man. The worst part, his son saw the whole thing. Later that night, her remaining families taken by the Clave, and Clary only gets away because of her Uncle Luke. For the next few years, Clary lives a normal Shadowhunter life until 'Golden Boy' returns. Will he follow through with the promise he made to her years ago?
1. Let the Bloodshed Begin

**Scarred for life**

**Heyyyyyy everyone. So, this is my first fanfic i've ever written and I have no idea if it's any good. This idea came to me around 10 PM and it wouldn't get out of my head until I wrote it down! So now it's almost midnight and I decided to post it. Enjoy! :-)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments Series. Sadly Cassie Clare does :-(**

Clary P.O.V

I still remember that terrible night whenever I close my eyes. I remember the Wayland manor, the dark halls, and empty rooms reminding me of something from a horror movie. The smell of sweat and and tears coming from everyone in the room, except for my father, Valentine, and my brother, Jonathan. I remember the cool air chilling the sweat on my face. And most importantly, I remember killing an innocent man when I was just 8 years old.

_Flashback_

_I shivered, but it wasn't from the cold. As I looked around me, I took in every detail I possibly could... just in case. I studied my brother, Jonathan, and my father, Valentine, as they stood calmly in the corner of the living room, watching. _

_Next, I looked at my fathers right-hand-man, Panghorn. He's in a different corner holding back a screaming boy that looked about my age. The boy, to sum him all up in one word, was golden. From his blonde curls that reached the bottom of his ears, to his liquid gold eyes and golden skin, he looked like a small angel. The only thing that's un-heavenly about him is the swear words coming out of his mouth and the tears pouring down his face. I completly understand what has him so upset though._

_In the middle of the large room, chained down and on his knees, is the boy's father. The father looks exactly like the son except for the fact that the fathers eyes are blue. I wonder if his mothers eyes are gold also... I was interrupted from my thoughts by Panghorn slapping the boy hard enough to send him to the ground. _

_The first time I heard my father speak all night, I heard him say, "Now, now Jace. We wouldn't want you to get hurt too, would we?" He made it sound like a question, but the boy, Jace, and everyone else clearly knew it was a threat._

_As Panghorn roughly picked Jace up off the ground, my brother made his way towards me. I was standing in the middle of the room, right in front of Michael Wayland. Jonathon, who was 10 while I was only 8, stopped in front of me and drew a dagger out of his belt._

_When Jace the the weapon he instantly started screaming profanities again. Jonathon held the dagger out towards me, but I refused to take it. "Come on Clary, you know you have to do this." Jonathon said in a calm, sweet voice, "Michael Wayland must be punished for going against the Circle." Again I refused to take it._

_"Why do you have to kill him? Why can't you just banish him from the Circle?" I pleaded._

_"Because he's a traitor!" Jonathon snapped but then regained an air of calm. "Also, he would remember everything and go tell the Clave. We can't have him doing that."_

_My eyes lit up with an idea. "I can create a rune that will make him forget everything! That way he can't tell the Clave anything! The Circle will remain a secret and Michael will get to live!" I didn't know much about the Circle, but I figured that they weren't mindless killers. _

_"Clarissa Morgenstern!" my father snapped, " You will not stand here and make a mockery of my prized organization! He deserves to die, therefore he will! Now take the knife from your brother and stab it through this man's disgusting heart!"_

_Once again I paused. Was it really worth it to kill an innocent man just to please my father? Surely if I don't kill him than my father will. Also, after he kills Michael, he'll punish me for disobeying him. Even if I get beaten and this man still dies, his blood won't be on my hands. I was just about to tell my father that I wouldn't kill Michael when a crackly, hoarse voice speaks up._

_"Kill me. I understand you don't want to and I'm grateful, but just kill me." I looked down and was very surprised to see that Michael was the one that spoke to me._

_Bewildered, I whispered, "You want to die?" His only response was a nod. "Why would you want to die?"_

_"I have lived a good life and seen many things. I've met the love of my life and had a beautiful son. I've rid the world of thousands of demons! I have lived a full life and I'm ready to enter the next world."_

_"Those all sound wonderful. Wouldn't you want to experience more? You can finish raising your son and kill thousands of more demons!" I had to convince this man that his life WAS worth living. He can't just give up._

_"I've also had horrible times. I've seen my love, Celine, murdered, and I've been injured hundreds of times. Alas, my biggest regret will always be this; I joined the Circle because I thought it was a noble cause, only to find out its members are only interested in ruling over everything and enslaving everyone!"_

_So obviously he was ready to die. Though there was still one thing that didn't match up. "What are you going to do about your son? He's not old enough to take care of himself."_

_Jace, who was watching the scene unfold with tears in his eyes, glared at me and hissed, "What are you talking about? I'm older than YOU! Don't stand there and act like you know everything!"_

_Michael just looked fondly at his son and said to me, "He has his instructions, and I know Valentine won't hurt Jace. Even he is above murdering children." He smiled. "I promise you, Clarissa Morgenstern, I won't blame you for killing me. You have to do this to please your father, so do it. Take the knife and stab it through my heart. It isn't that difficult, I promise you."_

_Doing what Michael said, I finally took the dagger out of Jonathan's hand. Turning back to Michael, I placed the dagger over his heart and paused for the last time. I looked into Jace's eyes, knowing that I was about to kill the only family he had left and said, "Forgive me." before plunging the knife into Michael Wayland's heart. _

_As my father dragged me away from the dead man I was crying over, I heard Jace yelling at me, "I'll kill you Clarissa Morgenstern! I swear on the Angel I will! I'll murder your entire family and enjoy every second of it! I promise you."_

_Before leaving, my father looked over his shoulder to Panghorn and said, "Knock the boy unconscious, then leave him at the Lightwoods'."_

_End of Flashback _

That night, the Clave found our home and invaded. They were told to kill everyone inside. Dad and my brother were taken, and I assume killed, but right before the Clave made it to my room, a giant wolf jumped in through the window and saved me.

That wolf's my Uncle Luke.

**Whew! Finally got the first chapter out of the way! I don't know if I will continue this story or not at this moment. I need your opinions! PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME IF I SHOULD CONTINUE THIS OR NOT! **

**I'm lookin forward to readin' some reviews!**

**Edited: 3/19/13**

**Lots of Luv!**


	2. Unexpected News

Scarred For Life

Chapter 2

**Hey Guys! I just wanted to thank you so much for all of your reviews and follows! You really just made my week! I will try to get Chapter 3 up before I go back to school on Thursday! Thanks again! Now here's Chapter 2! **

8 Years Later

Clary P.O.V

Once again, I woke up shaking off the feeling of disgust and self-hatred. I got out of bed, grabbed a change of clothes and a bottle of strawberry body wash, and headed into my bathroom. As I was shampooing, my thoughts drifted to last night's dream.

I call it a dream, but really it's a nightmare, memory, and reminder all in one. It starts right after I stabbed Michael Wayland. I hear his son, Jace, yelling at me with anger and hatred deep in his voice. His promise repeats itself in my head over and over. _"I'll kill you Clarissa Morgenstern! I swear on the Angel I will! I'll murder your entire family and enjoy every second of it! I promise you."_

Shaking off the fear this memory causes me, I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a fluffy towel. I go into my room and change into black skinny jeans, a sparkly green tank top, and brown leather boots that come up right below my knees. I blow dry my fiery red hair and use my finger to form pretty, natural curls.

I go downstairs into the kitchen to find Luke already at the table with coffee and doughnuts. "Hey," he says sliding a coffee in front of me, "How'd you sleep?"

I smirked as I grabbed a glazed doughnut out of the box. "Do you even have to ask?"

"You're still dreaming about that night?" I nodded. "Clary. You know no one is going to hurt you anymore. The Clave declared you innocent years ago, Valentine and Jonathan have been imprisoned, and Jace is living with the Lightwoods'. He's probably forgotten all about you by now!"

I put on my best glare and focused my attention on Luke. "I murdered his father Luke! Jace will never forgive me! If we're being truthful here, I probably don't even deserve it."

Luke wrapped his arms around my shoulders and sighed. "Is it even that important if he does forgive you?" When he saw the look I gave him, he continued. "Now, now. Hear me out. You only saw him for about 10 minutes and you never talked to him. You'll never see him again! Just forget about him!"

He was starting to ease my mind a little when a knock sounded at the door. When I opened it, I was very surprised to see James Penhallow **(A/N I just made up a first name, my MI books are currently on loan.) **standing in front of me. "Hello, Clarissa!" He smiled warmly.

"Hi, James." I gave him a tight smile. What is the leader of the Clave doing at my house?

"Clary, it has come to our attention that you have recently finished your Shadowhunter training?" I nodded in agreement, a terrible feeling beginning to form in my stomach. "As you may know, once Shadowhunters' are fully trained, the Clave sends them wherever we need them." I nodded, the strange feeling growing larger. "Well, due to a sudden increase in demonic activity, we have decided to send you to the New York City Institute."

My stomach hit the floor. I knew, due to the fact that I did extensive research to make sure I wouldn't run into him, that Jace Wayland lives in New York City. With the Lightwoods'. In the New York City Institute.

"Is there any other place that you can possibly send her?" I whirled around to find Luke standing behind me. I hadn't even heard him walk in the room.

James just put simply, "No. Your fellow Shadowhunters in New York need your help right now. You will report to the N.Y.C Institute within the next week or you will be stripped of your marks and banished. Good day Clarissa and Lucian."

I was left gaping after Mr. Penhallow. I could feel tears start to build up behind my closed eyelids, and I started rapidly blinking, trying to force them back down._ Now is not the time for tears!_ "I'm not going Luke. I can't go Luke! He'll recognize me! He'll recognize me and then he'll kill me!"

"Clary," Luke said softly, "You have to go. You know as well as I do that you can't disobey the Clave."

"But he'll recognize me." I protested weakly.

Luke took my hand and placed a $20 bill in it. "Go buy some hair dye. I'm going to make sure we do whatever it takes to keep you safe." Without another word, I left.

I came back home 30 minutes later with a box of dark brown hair dye. I locked myself in the bathroom and in 20 more minutes, I looked at my new hair in the mirror. It didn't look that bad, but I was going to miss my fiery red hair.

I walked out of the bathroom and went in search of Luke. I found him sitting in the living room, staring at the TV, which wasn't even on. Hearing me enter, he looked at me and said, "You're gonna need a new name."

I contemplated for a moment. "What about Rebecca Fray?" I chose Rebecca because it's the name of my best friend's, Simon, older sister, and I chose Fray because that's the name my mother used when she ran away from Valentine 10 years ago.

Luke gave me a little smile and said, "I think your mother would like that." Luke grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and called one of his friends from his wolf pack. He ordered me a fake ID with my new name and picture on it. Then Luke and I went upstairs to pack my stuff. 3 hours and 5 bags later, I was ready to leave. After an awkward goodbye with Luke, I called Simon and told him the news.

"Hey Si."

"Hey Clare. What's going on? You sound sad."

"I'm moving to New York City."

...Silence

"Si? Are you still there?"

"Umm yeah. Are you going to tell me why?"

"The Clave came to my house today. They said that because of the increase in demon activity, I have to report there right away."

Simon is a vampire. Therefore he knows all about Shadowhunters and the Clave. Since he's my best friend, he knows all about Valentine, Michael, Jace, my brother, and the Lightwoods. So his next question made me almost break down in tears all over again.

"Wait a second. Don't _they _live in New York City?"

"Yep. There lies the issue."

"You're going there alone! You won't have anyone to protect you! Or anyone to watch your back! Please tell me Luke is moving with you!"

"Luke's coming down in a few months. He needs to sell the bookstore and the apartment before he can come."

"Fine. Then I'm coming with you."

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Edited: 3/19/13**


	3. Just a Friend?

Scarred For Life

Chapter 3

**Hey people! Once again, THANK YOU! I now have 15 followers and I only published this story 5 days ago! Thank you! Now without further ado, I present to you Chapter 3! :- )**

**P.S Sorry it's a short chapter and please read the authors note at the end of the chapter!**

Clary P.O.V

I just sat there, shocked. When I found my voice, I finally said, "Si, I can't ask you to do that. I'm not going to make you leave your house!"

"Clary, my mom thinks I'm a demon, my sister's living in California, and I'm living in Eric's garage. There's nothing left for me here except you. So if you're going, I'm coming too."

"Simon," I managed to choke out, "you're the greatest friend a girl could ever ask for." Tears were, once again, threatening to stream down my face.

"Don't cry Clare! So, when are we leaving?"

.o.O.o.

1 hour later, Simon and I were standing in front of my house, with all of our bags. The High Warlock of Chicago, Ragnor Fell, just finished making the portal and was giving us last minute instructions.

"Alright kiddos, since one of you is vampire," he shot Simon a look, "I set the portal to drop you off in front of the Institute, not in it. Clarissa, when you get there, go into the Institute and ask for Maryse. She'll give you a tour and introduce you to the other Lightwoods'."

I flinched when he said 'other Lightwoods' but he didn't seem to notice.

"Other than that, stay safe and don't get yourself killed in the first week." He gave me a smile, revealing his pointed teeth.

As Simon and I were about to step into the portal, Ragnor said, "Oh and one more thing." I turned and looked at him. "If you meet a Magnus Bane, tell him that he still owes me $20."

"Sure thing." I said, and then I stepped into the portal, Simon right behind me.

.o.O.o.

Simon P.O.V

The first thing I noticed when we exited the portal was the smell. Exhaust, trash, and grease hung like a thick cloud over the city. Underneath all that, was the thick, rich, and delicious smell of blood. Even though I fed before I came, my fangs still slid out and pierced my bottom lip.

I looked over at Clary and saw the fear and pain in her eyes. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her into my side. She looked up at me gratefully and whispered, "I'm scared."

"You don't have to do this. We can leave and go home right now."

She still looked terrified, but I saw the steel in her eyes. "If I don't, I'll get banished from the Clave. I'll never be a Shadowhunter again. "

"Well then," I said, placing my hands on he cheeks and staring deep into her gorgeous emerald eyes, "get yourself together and walk in like the bad-ass I know you are." She just giggled and nodded her head.

After a few more minutes of standing outside and getting herself together, she marched up the stairs with her head held high. I had to admire her strength. She's been through so much and despite it all, she's still going strong. And now she's about to face one of her problems head on. The problem's name being Jace Wayland.

I saw her pause on the top step of the Institute so I ran up the stairs to help her. As my foot touched the top step, I screamed in agony. My entire body started to burn and huge blisters started to form on my arms and neck. Clary turned around, saw me rolling on the ground in pain, and dropped down on her knees in front of me. She cradled my head on her lap and told me everything would be okay.

At that moment, I realized that I loved her.

**So everyone, that's Chapter 3 for you! I wanted to make it longer, but I decide that now would be a pretty good place to stop. I'm going back to school tomorrow, so I might not update as quickly as I have been. I will try and update once a week, but I have no idea how much homework I'll have. Please tell your friends about your story and keep the reviews coming! I'm ecstatic with all the follows and favorites I've gotten so far, but I want more! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Lots of Luv,**

**ByTheAngel99**

**Edited: 3/19/13**


	4. Meet the Family

Scarred for Life

Chapter 4

**I'm back! School wasn't as hard as I had thought, so I managed to jot down ideas during class. I made it extra-long to make up for the last chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: (I know I forgot to do this the last 2 chapters) I don't own TMI. Only the plot is mine. Everything else belongs to Cassandra Clare… Damn it! :- (**

Simon P.O.V

"Si, are you alright?"

I could hear her perfectly fine, but for some reason, I couldn't answer. Whether it was from the fact that I just got electrocuted, or that I just made a huge revelation, I had no idea. All I could think about was how her dark brown hair cascaded around her beautiful, porcelain face, and that her emerald- green eyes seemed to look straight into my soul. I missed her fiery red hair, it matched her feisty attitude.

"Um, uhh… Ya, I'm perfect."

_Great, _I thought,_ now I can't even get a sentence out without sounding like I'm choking._ Clary helped me into a standing position and stared down the Institute door. I cleared my throat and she looked back at me. "Remember Clary, I'll be right here the whole time." She gave me a small smile and knocked on the Institute door.

About 30 seconds later, the door opened and a little boy opened the door. He looked about 9, had brown hair, and glasses perched on the very edge of his nose. He reminded me a lot of myself when I was his age. He stared up at us and said, "Hi. I'm Max Lightwood." I saw Clary gulp at the name Lightwood reached forward to squeeze her shoulder.

"Hi Max. I'm Cl-, Rebecca, and this is my best friend Simon. May I speak to Maryse?"

"Sure. If you wanna come in I can go get her." He moved aside but Clary stayed where she was.

"Actually, I think I'll stay out here with Simon."

Max gave both of us a confused look and said, "Well he can come in too."

I smiled. "That's really nice of you, but I'm a vampire."

He understood immediately. "Ohhhh, well in that case, you can stay out here and I'll be back really fast!" With that, he disappeared into the Institute.

"See," I said, "it wasn't that scary, was it?"

"No, but that was the smallest and by far the least intimidating of the Lightwoods'. It'll get worse."

I rolled my eyes and was about to reply when a woman walked out of the Institute and smiled at us. "Hello. My name is Maryse Lightwood and I run this Institute. James told me you would be arriving soon, although he didn't mention your name."

"My names Rebecca Fray and this is my friend Simon."

"Yes, Max did mention that you had a vampire friend with you." Maryse sniffed. I almost growled at the way she spit out the word 'vampire', like it was my fault I got stuck the way I did. This time she turned to address me. "Do you have a place to stay?"

"Umm, no. I had some savings and was just planning on renting a cheap apartment until I could afford something better."

"Nonsense, "Maryse scoffed. "You can stay in the Institute with Rebecca and the rest of my family."

I glared at her, thinking she was making fun of me. "In case you didn't notice this, I'm a vampire. And because I'm a vampire, your Institute delivers one hell of a shock if I get anywhere near it. So, no thanks, I don't feel like having my skin peel off my bones any time soon."

Maryse looked shocked, possibly because I stood up to her. She doesn't look like the type of woman anyone would mess with, especially a downworlder. "Of course I wasn't suggesting that! If you go around the back of the institute, there is a door where downworlders can enter. As long as a Shadowhunter lets you in, you can walk around the Institute as you please! Just don't go in or out the front door and you'll be fine."

I gave her a suspicious look and said, "Fine. But if this is some elaborate scheme to trap me and torture me to your little hearts content, let me just say, I'm a screamer." I threw in a suggestive wink for effect.

Clary snorted and Maryse's face held a mixture of shock and disgust. Clary gave me a shove. "Just go around back you big dork. I'll see you soon." She gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek.

My mouth dropped open. _Does this mean that she likes me? She's never kissed me before! Even though it was only on the cheek, this could mean that she wants us to be more than friends! Should I play it cool or let her know that I'm interested?_ All these thought were racing through my head until Maryse said, "Hurry along now. I'll have Isabelle let you in."

I walked away backwards. I watched as Clary realized what she did and blush a deep pink. I kept watching her until I disappeared around the side of the Institute and couldn't see her anymore. Then I raced around back until I found the door Maryse was talking about.

I walked up the flight of steps leading to the door, only to find myself face-to-face with a gorgeous girl. She was around 16, with black hair that reached her waist, pale skin, and dark, raven eyes. She was wearing super skinny jeans, a red tank top, a black leather jacket, and 6 inch, knee high boots. She looked at me and smirked. "You must be the vampire that I'm supposed to let in."

I instantly knew she was a flirt, so I decided to flirt right back. Ever since I became a vampire, I found out that I have some sort of sexy vampire mojo that works with any, and every, girl. "And you must be the beautiful shadowhunter that I'm supposed to sweep off her feet."

She snorted. "In your dreams, bloodsucker."

"I'm counting on it." I winked and walked right past her through the door, determined to find Clary.

XXXXXXXXXX

Clary P.O.V

As soon as Simon left, I felt naked. He's been my shield ever since I got to New York. He's protected me and comforted me, and I needed him. Without him- Maryse interrupted my thought process. "Now, if you'll follow me, I'll introduce you to my family." I pushed down the urge to run away and followed Maryse into the Institute.

We got into an old-fashioned elevator and rode up one floor. When we got out, my breath was taken away. High, cathedral-like ceilings had pictures of angels and demons battling each other, and polished wood floors, and classy leather furniture completed the room. All these components gave the Institute a sophisticated and refined feel, a lot like Maryse herself. "This is the commons area; it's a place where everyone can meet up. Down the hall to your left are all of the bedrooms, the training room, and the weapons room. Down the hall to your right is the kitchen and the library. If you need help finding anything, Church can help you."

"Who's Church?"

Maryse just smiled. "He is." She pointed down the hall towards a fat, blue cat. Behind the cat was Simon and a gorgeous girl that looked like the younger version of Maryse.

"Hey mom," the girl said, "I got the vamp."

Without thinking, I spat, "His name is Simon!"

The girl, surprised, looked over at me. Before she could respond, Maryse cut in. "Isabelle, be nice to our guests. They will be here a long time."

The girl, Isabelle, looked at me and smiled, "I like you already! You're feisty. I like that! I think we can be great friends!"

I was so flustered by her change of attitude that I didn't even notice the two boys walk right up behind me and shout "BOO!"

At that instant, my shadowhunter training kicked in and I brought my elbow back and shoved it into the face of the guy closest to me. I brought my knee back to shove it into the second guy's groin when Simon came up and picked me up. "What are you doing?" I shouted.

"Preventing you from kicking these guy's asses and damaging their ego's. He set me down after I had calmed down and Isabelle immediately came and gave me a big hug.

"I love you so much!" She squealed. "We are going to be such good friends! You can help me kick my brothers' asses all the time!"

"Isabelle, language." Maryse scolded her, but you could tell that she was thoroughly amused.

The guy that managed to evade my beating was rolling on the ground, laughing at the boy that wasn't so lucky. The one laughing had black hair, dark eyes, and a pale complexion. I knew instantly that he was Alec Lightwood. The one with the newly bruised nose had gold hair, gold skin, and a very muscular body. I knew instantly who he was.

After a few more minutes of lying on the ground holding his nose, he looked up at me with his golden eyes. I waited for that spark of recognition to go off in his eyes, but there was nothing._ He doesn't recognize me. _I thought. _He doesn't know who I am! _A wide grin spread across my face. "It's nice to meet you." I addressed the two boys. "My name's Rebecca Fray."

Alec looked up at me with awe in his eyes and says, "Hi. I'm Alec Lightwood and I must say I'm extremely impressed. Anyone who can actually injure Jace has got some serious skill."

"Thanks." I smirk, "I learned from the best."

Jace, who was on his feet by now, glared at me. I just smiled right back.

Maryse, sensing the tension, quickly stepped between me and Jace and said, "Alright, I have a Clave hearing to attend, so I need 2 of you to show Rebecca and Simon around."

"I'll show Simon around!" Isabelle quickly said. She threw a flirty wink in Simon's direction.

"I'll show Rebecca around." I turned around to see who had spoken and was extremely surprised when I saw it was Jace.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I'd like to get to know the girl who bruised my nose a little better." He smirked and started to walk away, obviously expecting me to follow him. When I didn't move, he turned back around and said, "Get a move on, Shorty. Or else you'll be sleeping in the hallway tonight.

Cursing under my breath, I trudged along after the boy whose life I destroyed.

**So there's Chapter 4! I'll try and update every Sunday, but I don't know if that's possible. My older sister just found out I wrote a fanfic and is now teasing me. She now wants to be my beta, which IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! So sis, if you read this, I just want to let you know that I hate you.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	5. Never Underestimate a Woman

Chapter 5

**Hola mi amigos! (Hehe, I just spoke Spanish!) I wanna thank you all SOOO much for all the reviews, favs, and follows! You are all seriously the best! If I could, I would bake you all a cake and personally deliver it! But… since some of the people that read my stories are from Singapore and Slovenia, I can't really do that. (BTW, thanks to all the people from different countries that read my story!)**

**Anyway, you don't wanna listen to me babble. So onto the story!**

Simon P.O.V

As I watched Clary walk away with Jace, I felt a pang of jealousy_. I mean, he is hot._

_Hmmm,_ I thought. _It must take a man that is very secure in his sexuality to admit that another dude is hot._ Getting back on topic, I watched Clary's slender back as she walked away. Even from a distance, I could see the tension through her shoulders.

I knew that there was no reason to be jealous. I mean, she did murder his dad. Even if he falls in love with her, as soon as he finds out who she is, he's going to try to kill her. Sadly, that thought made me feel better.

Clary P.O.V

When Jace and I had gotten out of hearing range of the others, the questions started coming.

"So," Jace said, "how old were you when you started training?"

"6."

"How old are you now?"

"16."

"Got any family?"

I knew he would ask this question, but I still wasn't ready for it. "Nope."

"What happened to them?"

"They're dead." I didn't know if it was true, but I didn't care. My dad and my brother were dead to me.

"Ohhh." Jace said, his voice softening. "I'm sorry."

When I stayed silent, he continued to say, "My parents are dead too."

Once again, I was silent. After a few more minutes of walking silently, he stopped in front of a pair of large double doors. He looked at me over his shoulder and grinned wickedly. "My dear Rebecca, may I present to you, the training room."

He flung open the doors and I was instantly blown away. It was huge! Almost the size of a football field, the training room was filled with treadmills, weights, punching bags, weapons, and targets. In the middle, there was a big mat for sparring with a partner.

While at was still gawking at my dream room, Jace walked onto the sparring mat and peeled off his t-shirt, leaving him in a plain white tank top that showed off his very well defined muscles.

_Oh my god, he knows who I am_. That was the only thought that kept running through my mind as I watched him take out his stele. He drew three runes on his arm, one for speed, one for agility, and another for healing. _He's going to kill me_. "What are you doing?" I stammer as I slowly walk backwards toward the door.

He only smirked. "You managed to bruise my nose. I want to see if that was luck or skill."

I relaxed. He only wanted to spar. I can do that, easy. My dad started training me when I was 6, and my Uncle Luke took over after he rescued me from the Clave. Luke used to be a Shadowhunter, but was bitten when he and my father picked a fight with a pack of angry werewolves. Needless to say, I'm about as trained as I'll ever be.

I looked down at my clothes, white skinny jeans, brown gladiator sandals, and a sequined green tank top. "I need to go change."

He waggled his eyebrows. "Into something more comfortable, I hope."

I rolled my eyes and glared at him. "Just show me where the bathroom is." He led me to the corner of training room, where there was a dressing room area. I locked myself in one of the stalls and changed into the clothes I brought with me. I had black yoga pants, tennis shoes, and a plain, blue, cotton tank top.

When I walked back out, I saw Jace stretching. Sunlight streamed through one of the windows, hitting Jace perfectly. It made his hair look even more gold and his long eyelashes casted shadows across his angular cheekbones. My fingers itched with the urge to draw him. He looked like an angel sent straight from heaven.

_What are you doing Clary? You can't have these thoughts about him! You destroyed his life. If you fall for him, and he finds out who you really are he'll kill you, just like he promised to do to you 8 years ago._"Rebecca?"

Jace's voice snapped me out of my inner battle. "What?" I snapped, harsher than it needed to be.

Once again, he flashed me his smirk. "I know I'm extremely gorgeous, but that doesn't mean you have to stare."

I just glared at him. "If you keep smirking, your face will get permanently stuck like that."

"Too late." He said cheerily. He took up a defensive position in the middle of the mat, and I walked up to him and took the same stance. I looked into his eyes. I remember my father's words that were imprinted into my mind long ago.

_Always look into your opponents' eyes Clarissa. The eyes are the window to the soul. You can always anticipate their next move if you look into your opponents eyes. _As I gazed into his eyes, I noticed, just for a second, that his eyes flicked to my legs. Not even a second later, he dropped into a crouch as one of his legs swept in a circle, trying to knock my legs out from under me.

Since I had looked into his eyes, I knew to quickly jump in the air to avoid his leg. While in the air, I did a front flip right over Jace, landing behind him. I quickly kicked him in the side before he had time to realize that I was no longer in front of him. When I heard a grunt of pain, I knew my kick had found its mark. He fell onto his back, holding his side, and allowed me to land a punch to his jaw and his nose.

Right before I was about to throw another punch, he disappeared. I turned around just in time to see him lunge at me. He tackled me to the ground. His knees had my legs pinned down, and his hands had mine pinned above my head. Deciding that I was out of options, I settled on the one defense tactic that my father refused to teach me.

I started to cry. "Jace!" I wailed, "I think you broke my ankle when you tackled me!"

His eyes softened and his grip on my hands loosened. "Shit Rebecca! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! Here, I'll take you to the infirmary."

As soon as his knees were off my legs, I karate chopped him in the neck. Without the air, coming into his lungs, his face turned purple and he started gasping. I wasn't worried about him because I remembered that he had a healing rune on his arm. His windpipe should be healed within the next thirty seconds. Knowing I had won, I got up and started to walk out of the room. "Wait." Jace managed to choke out.

I didn't.

"Rule one Jace," I called over my shoulder, "Never underestimate a woman." With that, I left the room, leaving Jace to heal… his wounds and his pride.

**That is the end of chapter 5! Did you like the fight scene? Did you think Jace was too weak? Leave a review and let me know! See you soon!**


	6. Escaped

Scarred for Life

Chapter 6

**Here's Chapter 6… Enjoy!**

Jace P.O.V

As I was lying on the sparring mat, waiting for my wounds to heal, I thought about the fight. I had started out with my signature kick. That move always worked… except with her. My father had taught me that move before he was, murdered. Even today, thinking about that night made bile rise up in my throat. _I had to watch as a girl my age killed my only living relative. _

A girl named Clary Morgenstern.

I vowed my revenge that day, and I planned to keep it. Every time I see someone with red hair walking down the streets of Manhattan, I chase after them with a dagger in my hand. I'm not going to let her get away with what she did, even if it's the last thing I do, I will kill her.

I decided I needed to release some built up aggression, I get up and head over to the punching bags. Of all the people to think of while working out, I think of Rebecca. I remember how she moved with a speed that I don't think even the angels possessed. How, even though she is tiny, she has muscles that even brought me to the ground. To say I'm impressed is in understatement. I'm _awed _by this girl.

I decided that I wanted to get to know her more, so I walk out the training room doors and in to the large hallway. I had absolutely no idea where Rebecca would be, so I start towards the kitchen. When I'm about fifty feet away from the kitchen, I smell something absolutely terrible. _Oh great, _I thought_, Isabelle's cooking again._

I walk in and see Isabelle and the stove, with the bloodsucker leaning on the counter next to her. Ignoring them both, I head over to the fridge to find something to eat. I look into the fridge and pull out a bottle of water and ingredients to make a sandwich.

"Where's Rebecca?" I look over and see that the bloodsucker, Simon, was the one who asked the question.

"I dunno, she just wandered off."

"And you didn't follow her because?" Isabelle asked.

Not wanting to tell them about how she beat me, I simply said, "I was training."

Simon asked, "Did she train with you?"

"Maybe." I said casually, putting all my sandwich ingredients away.

Isabelle smirked, "Did you spar?"

"Maybe." I said again.

Simon started laughing. "What's so funny, bloodsucker?"

Still laughing, he asked, "How bad did you get your ass kicked?"

I could feel my cheeks growing hot_. Was I actually blushing?_ "What makes you think she won?"

"Because, she never loses." Simon said it like it was just a fact and everyone should know it.

This time, it was Isabelle's turn to laugh. "Ha! Jace finally lost! I never thought I'd live to see the day that Jace Wayland finally lost! And to a girl! Rebecca and I are going to be the bestest friends ever!"

I was just about to walk out, when the devil herself walked in. The first thing I noticed was that she had changed her clothes. She was now wearing skinny jeans, converse, and a Tisch sweatshirt. **(A/N: In case you forgot, Tisch is the art place that Clary took lessons from at the beginning of the COB.) **I had to admit, she was hot. Her sparkling emerald eyes and her petite frame was the exact opposite of her fiery personality. The only thing I didn't like was her hair. It just didn't seem right for her to have brown hair. _Maybe she should be a redhead? _

The second thing I noticed about her was that she wore one of the proudest smirks I had ever seen. She must have been listening in on our conversation. "Didn't anyone ever tell you it wasn't nice to eavesdrop?" I said snidely.

If anything, her smirk just grew bigger. "Well didn't anyone ever tell you it's not nice to hit a girl?" She fake pouted, which brought my attention to her full, pink lips.

I was just about to make another comment when the bloodsucker interrupted. "So Fray, I heard you bruised poor little Jacey's ego today."

Rebecca flashed another smirk. "Aww it wasn't that bad. I went easy on him."

I snorted. "You call karate chopping someone in the throat and crushing their windpipe, going easy?"

"Yep!" She grinned, "At least I didn't break any bones."

"You couldn't if you tried." I challenged.

Before I even knew what had happened, Rebecca had run right up behind me and trapped me in a headlock. I knew that if she wanted to, she could just twist and my neck would snap. She bent down and whispered in my ear, "You were saying?"

I swallowed my pride, "I was saying that you are a great fighter and I would love to train with you sometime." She released me, and I had to take a couple seconds to stop shaking, and not because she almost killed me.

Isabelle squealed in delight and ran over to hug Rebecca. "By the angel, I think I love you! I'm serious, you're my new lady crush!"

"Kinky." Simon said, but I saw his eyes grow wider with desire. I'm sure mine looked the same.

Rebecca looked at both of us and laughed. "Perverts."

"I am a man, and men have needs!" I say indignantly.

Rebecca just smirked. "Whatever, just don't plan on me helping you out with those needs."

I knew she was joking, but I was still a little disappointed. _What are you doing Jace? You can't like her! You've only know her for a few hours! Sure, she's smart and pretty, and an amazing fighter, but…_

"Earth to Jace." Izzy said.

"What?"

"Did you not here mom just call for you?" I shook my head. "She said to go meet her in the library."

"Ok. Thanks Iz." I grabbed my half-eaten sandwich and my bottle of water, and walked out of the kitchen.

When I entered the library, I found Maryse pacing back and forth in front of the large, oak desk. She looked up when the door slammed behind me. "Hello, Jace."

"Hi Maryse, what's up?"

She looked nervous. "Why don't you take a seat?" She pointed towards the chair in front of the desk. When I sat down, she went around to the other side of the desk and did the same. "I got a letter from the Clave today."

"And?" I was confused about how anything to do with the Clave concerned me.

She took a deep breath. "Valentine and his son, Jonathon, escaped from the Silent City last night."

"What?" I screamed.

**Ooooooh, cliffy! I'm sorry I did that to you, but I felt it was necessary. I'll try and update soon!**

**REVIEW PLEASE! **

**Also, I would love some ideas about where to take this story. If you have any ideas, feel free to PM me!**


	7. Izzy Knows

Scarred for Life

Chapter 7

**Hey everyone! I decided to post this chapter a lot earlier than planned because you guys wanted me to. You all really are great! I've already gotten some excellent ideas for this story that will come into play within the next few chapters (not this one). That's all… enjoy!**

Jace P.O.V (Finally!)

"What?" I screamed, fury coursing through me.

"Jonathon and Valentine broke out of the Silent City. We don't know what they are after, but the Clave is looking." Maryse, despite everything, still remained calm. Although, if I looked into her eyes, I could see the fear.

_This can't be happening, _I thought,_ it's bad enough that the red-headed bitch never got caught, but now the father and brother's out too? It'll be a big happy, psychopathic family reunion._ I couldn't stand to be in the same room as anyone anymore. I needed to get away from anyone I could possibly hurt. I stormed out of the library without another glance back at Maryse.

.o.O.o.

After punching 3 holes in my bedroom wall, I finally heard the insistent banging on my bedroom door.

"Jace!" Izzy screamed, "Let me in! Tell me what's wrong!" I wanted to, but I just couldn't. I was too angry to be around anyone. I needed to go hunting, bad.

5 minutes later, I had on my hunting gear and all my weapons were stashed in my belt. Throwing open my bedroom door, I found Izzy, hands on her hips, on the other side looking extremely pissed off. "Who peed in your cheerio's?" I knew I was being an ass, but I couldn't help it. I started walking down the hall, hoping Iz would take the hint and leave me alone.

She didn't. "Jace Wayland!" She yelled, her long legs catching up with mine quickly. "You will tell me what happened this instant!"

By now we had reached the elevator. I stepped into it, and right before the doors closed said, "Why don't you ask your mother?"

Isabelle P.O.V

I had only seen Jace this disturbed one other time in the 8 years I had known him; the day his father was murdered. Not so coincidentally, that was also the day that he showed up at the Institute. I didn't want to dwell on the past, so I ran into the kitchen trying to find Rebecca and Simon.

I found them laughing and eating in the kitchen. Once I told them what had happened with Jace, the amusement in their expressions was gone. Rebecca's expression replaced with worry, and Simon's replaced with disgust. _Did Simon really not like Jace that much?_ I saw Simon look over possessively at Rebecca and instantly knew what was going on.

Simon loves Rebecca, but she doesn't know it. Rebecca and Jace have some weird attraction to each other, but don't want to admit it. Also, I might like Simon a teensy- little bit. Not really enough to matter but… if I see another girl try and flirt with her, I will personally RIP HER HEAD OFF! _Alright Isabelle, it's time for this tiger to put her claws away._

Rebecca, still worried, asked, "Why would he run away? I mean, I know I've only known him for a couple hours, but he doesn't strike me as the type of person that would just run away!"

I nodded. "He isn't. Before he left, he told me to ask my mom. So my children, follow me!" As we were walking to the library, I purposely shook my hips a little more than necessary. I know Rebecca didn't like him, and I wanted him to know that I would be there for him for _anything _he may need. _Wow, I sound like a Class-A whore! _Shaking off the thought, I walked into the library and found Mom pacing around her desk.

"Mom, what's wrong? Why did Jace come running out of here like a bat out of hell?"

Mom straightened and smoothed out her pant-suit. "All of you sit down, right now. There's something I have to tell you." We immediately sat on the couch. "I have no other way of saying this, so I'm just going to come out and say it. Jonathon and Valentine Morgenstern broke out of the Silent City last night."

I looked around. Rebecca looked like she was about to throw up, Simon looked pissed, scared, and sad all at the same time, but I just stood there, confused. "Who's Valentine and why is he so important?"

"Isabelle," Maryse said calmly, "Valentine is the man that forced his daughter to kill Michael Wayland. Jonathon is his son."

I was immediately filled with a white-hot rage. "Where is their bitch of a daughter?! Was she in the Silent City?" Maryse shook her head. I looked over and saw that tears were now streaming down her face. I dismissed it. _It probably has something to do with Jace. _"If she's still free, I will hunt her down and kill her. Painfully, and very slowly. I swear by the Angel."

Simon jumped off the couch and growled at me. He startled me and I jumped back. "Don't you ever talk about Clary like that. She's got more courage in her little pinky finger than you have in your entire body."

Even though I was terrified of him at this moment, I decided to play it cool. "Why are you sticking up for her? How do you even know her?"

"Because," said a feeble voice from behind Simon, "I'm Clary Morgenstern." I looked behind him and was shocked to see that it was Rebecca who had spoken.

**Another Cliffy! I really am a terrible person. MWWAAHAHAHAHAHA! **

**I'll make you a deal, because I love all of you. If I get 10 reviews and another 8 followers, I'll update by Thursday. If not, I might just have to wait until next Monday :- )**

**I hope you make the right decision! I'll be waiting!**

**REVIEW PLEASE! (And tell your friends!)**

**Luv You!**

**ByTheAngel99**


	8. Let Me Explain

Scarred for Life

Chapter 8

**OMG! Thanks you all SOOOOO much! I got like 30 new reviews and 15 new followers in 3 days! (For all those authors out there, I think you know how good that is!) **

**Before I get onto the story, I wanted to personally thank/reply to certain people.**

**Knightshade-alpha1797****: Thank you for leaving such nice reviews after EVERY chapter! Also, your PM is disabled so I couldn't reply back but, yes, I LUVVVV the Hush, Hush series! Patch and Nora are super perfect for each other! BTW, I think you would like the Casual Enchantment Series by K.A Tucker. It is a vampire series, but it isn't cheesy in the slightest. There are 3 books in the series right now, and they are all FANTASTIC!**

**AbzStar101****: Thanks for reviewing and for the idea! It will probably come into play within the next 2 chapters. I'll make sure I thank you again at the beginning of that chapter!**

**CescaHerondaleMorgenstern13****: Thank you for reviewing too! And those ideas you gave me will definitely be used! They were amazing! Thank you for sharing them with me!**

**mortalinstrumentsgurl1****: What can I say about you? You've been there since the beginning, and I hope you'll stay with me until the end! :- )**

**rcs17****: You've reviewed, you've followed, you've favorited, and you're awesome! **

**Physalie00****: You were the very first person that ever reviewed my story. You gave me the confidence and the inspiration to continue with it. Thank you so much!**

**Everyone Else****: Keep reading and tell your friends! **

**Onto the chapter!**

Clary P.O.V

As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted them. I saw Isabelle's face go from worried, to confused, to angry, to furious. Before I could blink, the gold whip that I just realized she had wrapped around her arm was now attached to my ankles. I looked over at Maryse, to see if she would help me, only to see that she was as angry as Isabelle. Maryse looked into my eyes and said coldly, "I think I'm going to go find something to eat." She started to walk out the door, but stopped and said, "Isabelle, don't kill her. It's against Clave law." She gave me a pointed look and was gone.

Next, I looked at Simon. He had his fangs out, ready to strike, but before he could help me, Isabelle dropped a bomb. "Oh Simon, did I forget to tell you? Since I gave you permission to enter the Institute, I can also force you to leave." She tossed a smug smile at him.

Si only snorted. "I don't believe you."

Her smile only grew. "I, Isabelle Lightwood, by order of the Clave, revoke Simon Lewis' right to walk on the Institute's sacred ground."

As soon as she finished speaking, Simon started getting pulled backwards by an invisible force. He struggled, but it was no use. Si was getting pulled out of the Institute, and out of my life.

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. "You can't do this!" I sobbed, "You can't take Simon away from me! He's the only family I have."

As if to prove my point, Simon screamed, "I love you Clary!" right before he was forced out of the Institute.

Now Isabelle whirled on me. "Did you not hear what Mom said? Your brother and your father are out of the Silent City! You have plenty of family, you bitch!" She brought her hand back and punched me in my jaw, hard.

Spitting out the blood in my mouth onto Isabelle 7-inch heels, I glared venomously at her. "They are not my family. Simon is the only family I've ever known and you've just taken him away from me. Ever since my father forced me to kill Michael Wayland, he and my brother have been dead to me."

"I don't believe you!" Isabelle shrieked. The joking and sweet girl I met earlier was gone. Replacing her was a black hearted, hurt girl that, despite her mother's warning, wouldn't hesitate to kill me. I would let her kill me too. The only problem was, on the same day Jace vowed to kill me; I vowed that I would make it up to him… somehow.

Isabelle jerked her whip, the same one that was still wrapped around my ankle, and broke the bone in my foot almost immediately. I cried out in pain and lunged at Isabelle. Now that my ankle was broken, her whip was useless still wrapped around it, I didn't have to worry about her whip. I jumped on top of her and punched her in the face repeatedly.

She brought her legs up and wrapped them around my neck, putting me into an awkward choke-hold. Before she could roll over so that I was in the more vulnerable position, I wrapped my small hands around her neck and squeezed, cutting off her air. After about 1 minute, I saw that her face was a livid purple and that the veins in her neck were bulging, begging for air. After another 30 seconds, she fainted.

Moving quickly, I dragged her into one of the extra bedrooms near the library. Then, being quiet so Maryse wouldn't hear, I ran into the weapons room and retrieved a stele and 4 seraph blades. Once I brought it back into the bedroom I was holding Isabelle in, I drew I silencing rune on her arm, and made a Malachi Configuration around her using the 4 seraph blades. I also put a healing rune on her, because the only thing she was guilty of doing was protecting Jace.

As soon as the glowing walls appeared around Isabelle, she woke up. She looked around the room, confused, until her eyes landed on me. A blinding fury, plus a little bit of fear, sparked in her dark eyes, and she opened her mouth to scream. When no sound came out, she looked down to her arm and saw the silencing rune I put on her. She also saw the healing rune I put on her, but she decided to ignore it.

I answered the silent question burning in your eyes. "I needed you to stay still, and quiet, enough so that I could explain what happened that night. I'm not looking for to forgive me, or accept me. I just want you to hear my side of the story." As soon as I said that, my past just came pouring out of me. I told Isabelle everything: from the moment my dad found out I had a rune power, to the night he took me with him to Wayland Manor, up until where Michael gave me permission to kill him and I was dragged away from his body in tears.

The entire time I was telling the story, I looked down at my feet. I didn't want to see the disapproval, fury in Isabelle's eyes. When I finally finished telling her my story, I looked into Isabelle's eyes expecting to see some sort of hostility in them. I was extremely surprised to see just the opposite. Tears were running down her face. She looked so heartbroken and so genuine that I broke into tears myself. Then she mouthed 3 words that gave me hope.

_I forgive you._

I quickly knocked over one of the seraph blades and ran into Isabelle's outstretched arms. The silence rune had finally worn off and we sobbed loudly, ours tears mixing. We kept crying until we heard someone clear their voice from the doorway. We looked up to see Maryse, staring quizzically at the two of us. "I take it you've forgiven her?" Maryse said, staring straight at Isabelle.

"Yes I have Mother. Rebe- Clary has been through hell and needs someone to care for them, just like Jace."

"It seems that you've forgotten who made Jace the way he is. Now, I don't see how anything she's been through was as bad as Jace's."

"Mom," Isabelle began, but I interrupted her.

"Mrs. Lightwood, I know I don't deserve any of your time, but if you give me five minutes I can prove to you that I am nothing like the rest of my family."

Maryse looked me over for a few moments, probably making sure I wasn't hiding any weapons, and gave me a curt nod.

Walking over to her, I remembered the rune I created to allow people to show other people their memories. I had created it when I was 6, thinking my father would be extremely proud of me. Instead of him being proud, he slapped me across my face and screamed, "You're useless Clarissa! This won't help me at all! You are a stupid, idiotic little child!"

Now, though, was the perfect time to use it. I walked over to Maryse, stele in hand, and closed my eyes, trying to remember the rune. It instantly came to mind and before I second- guessed myself, I drew it on her arm. I then drew a matching rune on my arm. Now that we were connected, I brought the memory to the front of my mind and gently pushed it toward Maryse. She accepted it quickly and started to watch my memory play, kind of like a movie transmitted directly to her mind.

When she had finished watching my memory, she was in tears too. Maryse pulled me in for a hug and whispered in my ear, "I'm so sorry for everything they did to you. I'm also sorry for abandoning you with Isabelle. I won't tell Jace who you are, Clarissa Morgenstern."

As soon as she finished her sentence, I heard yet another person enter the room. "Did I hear the name 'Clarissa Morgenstern'?" I whirled around to find Mr. Golden Boy himself enter.

I stood there, shaking with fear. Maryse and Isabelle, after sharing a quick look of surprise, composed their features and smiled at Jace. "You're back!" Isabelle exclaimed, relief evident on her face.

"Ya," Jace smiled softly, "Just went demon hunting to blow off some steam. So, what where you saying about Clarissa?" He looked straight at me, waiting for an answer.

"Ummm, Maryse and Isabelle just wanted to fill me in on some recent Shadowhunter news. They had just started to tell me about the Morgenstern's."

He appraised me, judging whether I was telling the truth or not. He seemed to believe me… for now. "Did they tell you about Valentine?"

"Sick, evil bastard, Valentine? Yep, already know all about him!" I gave him a smug smile and sat down on the bed, propping my feet up.

"Did they tell you about Jonathon?"

"The son that's exactly like his dad and may or may not be in love with his sister? Know him too." I smirked, inwardly cringing at the memories of Jonathon watching me change when I was 4 with a hungry look in his eyes.

Jace's eyes visibly darkened with fury when he said, "Now, tell me what you know about Clarissa."

It wasn't a question this time, it was a demand. "She disappeared the night Jonathon and Valentine were taken. She lived in hiding for a few years. Then, when she was 12, she went to the Clave and begged for forgiveness. They took pity on her because she was so young. She was set free and able to live a normal Shadowhunter life. After the hearing, she dropped off the grid and wasn't heard from since."

Jace slammed his fist against the wall. "Why would they set her free? She's the one that killed my dad! She's the one that ruined my life." His voice cracked at the end, the sadness making his gold eyes stormier.

This time it was Maryse that spoke up. "Maybe she didn't have a choice Jace. She was only 8 when that happened."

He jumped out of the chair he had perched himself in. "Everyone has a choice!"

I whispered my next words. "Maybe, if you knew her, you wouldn't believe that."

He looked up and met my eyes, gold meeting green. "It's not important whether or not I know her. If I ever see her again, I'm going to kill her and finally fulfill the promise I made to my father 8 years ago. Nothing and no one is going to change that."

**There's chapter 8! I hope you liked it! I'll try and have the next chapter up sometime this weekend. In the meantime, keep following, favoriting, and reviewing!**

**Luv you,**

**ByTheAngel99**


	9. Let's Play Dress-Up!

Scarred for Life

Chapter 9

**(This is the last time I'm going to do this) Disclaimer: I don't own TMI, it all belongs to Cassandra Clare!**

**Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews! I don't have anything else to say except enjoy the chapter!**

Clary P.O.V

A week had passed since Maryse and Isabelle found out who I really was. Since then, Isabelle has given Simon permission to enter the Institute again. I think she felt bad about kicking him out in the first place because when she first let him back in, she gave him a month's worth of cow's blood. Right now, Simon and Izzy were off somewhere, probably making out. They haven't confirmed their relationship yet, but the sexual tension is so thick between the two of them that you need a knife to cut it.

It was about 4:30 in the afternoon now, and I was in the library, reading about former Inquisitor's when Jace walked in. "Hey Rebecca, do you want to go train with me?"

I grinned. Ever since that first day I beat him up, Jace had been trying to get me back. So far, he hadn't succeeded. I was about to agree, when Izzy walked in with Simon right behind her. "Sorry Jace, she can't I need to help her get ready."

Jace raised one of his eyebrows, something I had never been able to do. "Get ready for what?"

"We are going to Pandemonium tonight!"

I groaned. "I don't want to Izzy!"

She just looked over and gave me a scowl. "I don't care if you don't want too! Your life is too boring. We are going to Pandemonium whether you want to or not!" When I sighed and stood up, Izzy knew that she had won. Yanking on my arm, she turned around and yelled, "Be ready to go at 8 boys!" before dragging me off into her room.

She dragged me into her room. Her walls were black with splashes of gold and I think her floors were wood, but with clothes and weapons scattered everywhere, you couldn't tell. "Ummm, Izzy, when was the last time you cleaned your room?"

She just shrugged, "I don't know. About 6 months ago." She sat me down in front of her mirror and went to work on my face and hair.

3 hours later

"Izzy," I whined, "are you almost done yet?" She had finished my hair about an hour ago and was still doing my makeup.

"Oh quit whining! There, I'm finished!" She exclaimed while swiping mascara over my eyelashes. I looked in the mirror and gasped. I looked stunning! My dyed brown hair was straightened and fell to the middle of my back and my eyes looked big, green, and mysterious.

"Thank you so much Isabelle!" I ran over to her and gave her a hug, but she just gave me a sad smile.

"Don't hate me for saying this, but I hate your hair. You would look so much better with your red hair back."

Over the past week, I had opened up to her and told her everything about my life. I even showed her some pictures of me before I came to the Institute. When she saw them, she told me how much she loved my old hair. "Don't worry Isabelle. Hopefully it will be back soon."

Izzy looked at the clock. "By the Angel! We only have 20 more minutes to get ready! Here, put this on!" She threw me a black piece of fabric and I put it on. It was a tight, black, one-shouldered dress. The shoulder was embellished with a cute, flower and the dress itself just brushed the top of my thigh. I grabbed a pair of red, 4 inch heels to complete the look.

I looked over at Izzy. She had on a dark blue dress that was fitted at the top, then poofed out at the bottom. The top part was sequined and the dress reached mid-thigh. Izzy also had on a pair of black heels. Her long black hair was curled and brushed her elbows.

She eyed me and screamed, "Damn! You look hot!" I blushed and she lowered her voice, "I bet Jace will think so too." That caused me to blush even harder.

This past week, I've gotten to know Jace. Underneath the cocky, douche bag façade, he was an amazing guy. He was sweet, funny, and could almost beat me in a fight. Also, he was sexy as hell! But even though he acted fine, I could see he was hurting… hurting from what I had done. I knew that I had to stop myself from liking Jace because if he found out who I was, he would kill me. He would take a seraph blade and rip out my heart, figuratively and literally.

"I can't like him."

Izzy looked up at me, understanding dawning on her face. "Look Clary, I know that you like him. I also know that he likes you. Even though you've only known each other a week, he's changed. Jace is happier and isn't nearly as much of a douche. I know you don't want to hurt him even more, but you will have to tell him eventually."

"I know." I looked at my feet, tears threatening to ruin my make-up.

"Don't cry Clary! Now come on, we've got two sexy men waiting for us!" She grabbed my arm and marched me out the door, effectively getting me out of my little mope-fest.

"So Iz, what's going on between you and Simon?"

Izzy blushed, yes, she actually blushed. "I have no idea! He's really sweet, but he seems like he doesn't like me very much! It kinda seems like he likes someone else." There was something in her tone that sounded like accusation, but I chose to ignore it.

I just snorted, "Iz, trust me, he likes you. The sexual tension between you to is insane! I can't even be in same room as you two without choking!"

"Yeah right, when you and Jace are sparring, it looks like he wants to rip your clothes off and take you right there on the mat!"

I was going to deny her statement, but we had just rounded the corner leading into the main room. Jace and Alec were leaning against the wall whispering, and Simon was waiting by the door, hands in his pockets, looking extremely nervous.

As soon as we walked in, all the boys stopped whatever they were doing and looked at us. I saw Simon look at Isabelle and his jaw dropped. He looked at her with awe and lust clear in his eyes. Then his eyes turned to me and his jaw dropped even more. "You can't wear that! You'll have dirty men grabbing at you all night! You need to go change right now!"

Isabelle looked furious. I just blushed and looked over at Jace, who was giving me a slow once-over. I blushed a deep crimson. "I like it." Jace said, detaching himself from the wall and walking over to me. "And don't you worry Simon; no dirty men will be getting their hands on Rebecca under my watch. Let's go, the cabs here."

Alec, Isabelle, and Simon filed out, leaving me alone with Jace. He leaned close and whispered in my ear, "Killer skirt. Deadly legs."**(A/N: I stole that line from Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick!) **Then he walked out the front door, leaving me gaping after him.

Oh yeah, it was going to be a good night.

**Keep reviewing and tell all your friends please!**

**Luv you,**

**ByTheAngel99**


	10. Pandemonium

Scarred for Life

Chapter 10!

**Yay! Happy 10****th**** chapter anniversary! I want to thank all of you who have reviewed, followed, and favorite because you inspired me to keep writing this! I want to give a shout out to XOMGX for being my 100****th**** reviewer! **

Jace P.O.V

I was talking to Alec about different ways to decapitate a demon when I heard heels clicking on the hardwood floors. I looked up and was instantly rendered speechless. I always knew Rebecca was pretty, but tonight she looked gorgeous! She wore a tight, short black dress that made her small curves look more pronounced, and her red heels made it look like her legs were 6 feet long.

I was brought back into focus as I heard the bloodsucker screaming at Rebecca. "You'll have dirty men grabbing at you all night! You need to change right now!"

At his comment, I was instantly on my guard. I wasn't going to let any scum bags touch my girl. _My girl? Where the hell did that come from, Wayland? Rebecca was in no way yours. But after tonight she might be._ I slowly looked over Rebecca again and, this time, she caught me looking and blushed.

I separated myself from the wall and walked over to her. "I like it." I directed my comment back at the bloodsucker. "And don't you worry Simon; no dirty men will be getting their hands on Rebecca under my watch. Let's go, the cabs here."

I waited until everyone but Rebecca and I filed out of Institute before leaning towards her ear and whispering, "Killer skirt. Deadly legs." To prevent myself from throwing her against the wall and kissing her, I turned on my heel and walked out the door.

It would be a great night.

Clary P.O.V

Finally managing to get a hold of myself, I ran out the front door. It wasn't an easy thing to do, considering I was wearing heels, but I managed to make it to the old, yellow taxi without stumbling. When I slid into the cab, I found myself pressed up against Jace. I breathed in deeply, trying to calm my nerves, and found myself breathing in the most intoxicating scent ever. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was sunshine.

_Oh no, I think I'm going to pass out._

Jace looked over and saw that I was acting weird. "Are you ok?"

"Yep. I'm just claustrophobic." I lied.

"You're a Shadowhunter, but you're scared of small spaces. How does that work out?"

"I pretend my fear doesn't exist. I push it down and pretend that it's insignificant." When I looked up into his eyes, I saw respect.

.o.O.o.

When we arrived at the club, there was a line a mile long. I got out and started walking towards the back of the line, when Jace grabbed my arm. "Whoa Becca, where do you think you're going?"

I got a little confused. "I'm going to the back of the line, like a normal person."

Jace chuckled, "We aren't normal." He threw his arm around my shoulder and walked towards the front door, where everyone else was already waiting for us. Resisting the urge to shiver from Jace's touch, I followed everyone inside.

The club was packed! Everywhere I looked there were people dressed in scantily clad, leather outfits grinding up against each other. Wanting to avoid the crowd as much as possible, I went over to the bar. I sat down and the bartender came over to get me a drink. He looked familiar. He had black hair, piercing black eyes, and pale, smooth skin. "What can I get you?" He asked while giving me a charming smile.

"Just a coke, please." He quickly got my drink and brought it back to me.

"What's your name?"

"Rebecca, what's yours?"

"Sebastian. Do you come to Pandemonium often?"

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p', "I just got to New York about a week ago."

"Where'd you live before?"

I was starting to get a little uncomfortable with all the questions. It didn't sound like he was just asking me, it sounded like he wanted information. I was looking for an escape when Jace came over to me. "There you are! I was looking all over for you! Who's this?" He turned an icy gaze onto Sebastian.

"I'm Sebastian Verlac, nice to meet you."

"I'm Jace and I would say that it's nice to meet you, but it's not."

"Sorry bro, I didn't know she was taken." Sebastian looked calm on the outside, but I could see something like fury brewing in his pitch black eyes.

"Well now you know." Jace gave Sebastian a tight smile, then came and whispered in my ear. "You wanna go dance?" I quickly nodded yes, eager to escape Sebastian, and took Jace's outstretched hand.

He led me into the center of the dance floor and put his hands on my hips. My put my hands on his chest and leaned forward into him. "I saw you at the bar. You looked like you needed help so, being the amazing person that I am, decided to come save you."

The music was loud and Jace had had to press his lips against my ear so that I could hear him. His lips were still on my ear and all the sarcastic comments that were on the tip of my tongue vanished. I managed to choke out "Thank you," while focusing on not fainting.

A slow song started and Jace wrapped his arms around my waist, while I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck. _What are you doing Clary?! You can't seriously fall for him! He swore he would kill you! You will be destroyed when he finds out. Stop yourself before you get in too deep!_

I swept that voice to the back of my mind as Jace lifted my chin up. "Rebecca, I have something I want to tell you. Ever since you came to the Institute, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Your sweet, witty, and can kick my ass in a fight. I want to give us a shot."

Whatever I had expected him to say, that wasn't it. This wasn't the sarcastic, douche- bag, Jace I'd gotten to know over the past week. I wanted to be with him so bad, but I knew it was wrong. It would end up hurting both of us in the end. "Rebecca, please say something." I looked up at Jace and saw his usually guarded eyes, completely open. I saw the desire, the sincerity, and the hope. I also saw the sadness and anger that had become permanent ever since what happened with Michael.

"I don't know Jace. I want you, so much, and I want to give it a try, but-"

I was cut off by Jace's lips pressing against mine. It was forceful and passionate, loving and rough. When I didn't pull away, he put his hands on the back of my neck and deepened the kiss.

We kissed and kissed until we both had to come up for air. He pulled me into a hug and I closed my eyes relishing the moment. I opened my eyes and looked over Jace's shoulder.

That's where I saw _him._

He beckoned me with his hand and started walking towards a room labeled _No Admittance. _Knowing I had no choice but to follow him, I told Jace I had to go to the bathroom and stalked off towards the back room.

Jace P.O.V

I finally admitted how I felt about Rebecca. I had told her how I felt and kissed her!

Now she was walking away from me?

I don't understand. She told me she wanted me too. She kissed me back, and then she left. My body still burned with the inferno Rebecca had set. I didn't realize just how much I wanted to kiss her, until I had.

I watched Rebecca walk away from me and slip into the storage closet. _Why is she going in there?_ Usually couples only went in there to make-out. I saw another familiar figure slip in after Rebecca and my body was instantly ready to kill.

_Why the hell was Sebastian following Rebecca into a storage closet?_

_And since when did I ask so many questions?_

With the grace and quietness of a cheetah, I followed after them.

Clary P.O.V

It took my eyes a second to adjust after I stepped into the storage room. All around me various cables and speakers littered the floor, but I was only concerned with the man standing directly in front of me.

"Hello Valentine, to what do I owe this great pleasure?" I was extremely proud of myself when my voice came out sounding strong and clear.

Valentine scowled. "You know very well that you may only call me father, Clarissa."

I faked an innocent expression, "You want me to lie to you? You know very well that you stopped being my father a long time ago." I heard the door close behind me, but didn't bother to turn around.

"Maybe you should take a few manner lessons from your brother. He is such a good child."

I still didn't turn around and faked a shocked tone. "Jonathon, did your demon friends finally decide you were too damned for even them to hang around?" When I did turn around, I was shocked.

"Sebastian?"

**MWAHAHAHAHA, another cliffy! I'm sorry; they're just way too much fun to write! I want to give credit to CescaHerondaleMorgenstern13 for the Valentine/Jonathon/Pandemonium idea. I loved your idea!**

**Tell me what you thought about Jace. Was he too soft? Do you want me to make him more arrogant in the future chapters?**

**Happy 10 chapter anniversary!**

**Ciao! **

**ByTheAngel99 **


	11. The Offer

Scarred for Life

Chapter 11

Clary P.O.V

"Hey little sis." Those words felt like a bucket of ice being thrown over my body. I was finally awake. _How had I been so naïve to think that they wouldn't come looking for me? I left them to rot in prison; they must be hell—bent on my torture._

I quickly hid my surprise and, summoning my inner Jace, gave Jonathon my most arrogant smirk. "Hey Johnny, I didn't know you wanted to be a bartender!"

He just scowled. "I don't, unless you're to figure it out, I've been spying on you." Now that I had time to study him, I could understand why I couldn't see he was in a disguise. Over the years, he had filled out. Jonathon was about 6 feet tall, an inch or two shorter than Jace. His white-blonde hair was replaced with black, and he was almost as pale as me.

Although I still remember his eyes. Cold, hard, and calculating, I always feel as if they can see straight into my soul. They looked just liked my father's.

"Now why would you want to spy on me? I'm just an innocent little Shadowhunter."

This time it was my father that spoke. "You know as well as I that you aren't innocent. You killed a man, you left your father and brother to rot in prison, and have been lying to everyone around you since you got to New York."

"How do you know I've been lying?"

"Because you're still alive. If Jonathon Wayland had found out, you'd be dead. Also, your hair looks absolutely disgusting, like mud."

I knew he was right, about both points. "What do you want from me anyway?"

"I'm willing to forgive you Clarissa, for everything. I want you to join me and your brother in our quest."

"What is this quest?" I said, not really caring.

Jonathon spoke, "The same quest the Circle has had for years. To rid the world of demons, and downworlders to make the world a better p[lace. Join us Clarissa."

"And if I don't?"

"Your choice of course, but one way or another, you will join us. If you don't come willingly, I might have to … get rid of the people close to you." When I didn't react, Valentine continued. "Isabelle, Alec, Simon. Jace."

I couldn't help it, when he said Jace, I flinched. A spark, looking a lot like jealousy, flashed in the back of Jonathon's eyes. "You like him," he hissed, "You murdered his father! Do you really think he would want you? You're just a challenge to him! He'll take advantage of you. Then, when you give your heart to him and tell him who you are, he'll murder you!"

My eyed started to fill with tears. Jonathon had just brought my thoughts to life.

Jace P.O.V

I had my ear pressed against the door, but with the music blasting through the speakers, I couldn't hear a thing. I wanted, no, I _needed _make sure Rebecca was ok. If something happened to her, I would be destroyed.

I want to go in there and save her, but she can protect herself. If I go in after her and she doesn't need saving, she'll be super pissed at me. _It's ok if she's mad; my Rebecca's super sexy when she's mad._ No! Bad Jace! No naughty thoughts about Rebecca!

Clary P.O.V

"Will you give me time to think about it? You can't just thrust this on me and expect me to make a choice."

Valentine, who looked irritated, just nodded. He walked over to me and handed me a shiny, silver bell. "You have until the months' time. When you have made your decision, ring the bell and your brother will come get you." Hearing the dismissal in his voice, I started to walk towards the door.

I opened the door, and someone fell on top of me. I landed on the ground, hard, and looked up to find golden eyes staring back at me. "Jace, what are you doing with your ear pressed to the door?"

He smiled at me, not looking the least bit ashamed. "I was worried about you. I watched you run off and thought that maybe you were mad at me. Are you?"

"Of course not! I, uh, thought I saw a demon walk in here and decided to investigate. I was right, it was a Drevak demon."

"Why didn't you ask me to come with you? I could have helped." Damn, I didn't convince him.

"Because I don't need your help with everything! I can handle stuff on my own!" I said in what I hoped was an indignant tone.

Jace grinned, "I know you don't." Then, he leaned down and kissed me. It was just starting to get good when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. _Oh no, Valentine and Jonathon are still in here!_ I stood up, expecting to see them, but was relieved to see Isabelle instead.

"When you two are done sucking face, I'd like to talk to Rebecca. Alone."]

Jace gave me one last look before casually striding out of the room. When he was gone, I shot Isabelle a poisonous glare. "What do you want?"

"Relax, Clary. I just want you to remember who you are, and who Jace thinks you are. I've never seen Jace this happy, and I know it will crush him if he finds out who you really are. Just remember that you aren't the only one with something to lose."

"I know Izzy. I really like Jace too. I want him to know everything, but I'm scared of how he'll react. Do you think he will actually kill me?"

"I don't know Clary. You did kill his dad, but he also has really strong feelings for you. Whether he'll kill you or kiss you is still up for debate."

I sat down on a random box, feeling defeated. "What should I do?"

"Wait a little longer, and keep seeing Jace. When you feel that the time is right, tell him, and we'll figure it out. Together."

I smiled and looked up, thanking the angel's for sending Izzy down from Heaven to help me with my boy problems.

**Hey guys! Sorry it's a short chapter. I'm writing it in the car on my way to Nebraska. Tell me what you think! **

**See you soon,**

**ByTheAngel99**


	12. Do You Like Pancakes?

Scarred for Life

Chapter 12

**It's officially one month since I posted this story online and I can honestly say, I'm ecstatic! In this month, I've gotten 80 followers, 37 favorites, and 140 reviews! When I first posted this, I never thought that this story would do as good as it did and I owe it all to you! Thank you!**

Clary P.O.V

Two weeks had passed since that night at Pandemonium and I couldn't be happier! Jace and I were officially a couple, Alec had recently told his parents he was gay and dating Magnus, and Isabelle and Simon had a thing going on. They refused to say that they were actually dating, but whenever I looked over my shoulder, they seemed to be making out in a dark corner.

Even though I had so many good things in my life, Valentine's threat kept me awake at night. The little silver bell he gave me was hidden in my underwear drawer. I had no idea if I should do what he tells me. If I didn't join him he'd kill everyone I love, but if I did, I'd be killing thousands of innocent downworlders. _What should I do?_

I was still lost in thought as I went into the kitchen and started making myself breakfast. I had just put some pancake batter in a skillet when I felt warm, muscular arms wrap around my waist. "Mmmm, pancakes. Did you make any for me?" Jace's warm breath in my ear sent shivers down my spine.

"Nope, if you're hungry then you can make your own food. I'm not your maid!"

"Damn! Then what am I gonna do with the sexy maid's costume that I bought for you?" He fake pouted and pretended to think hard about it.

I turned around glared at him, daydreaming about cutting off his manly parts. "You better be joking."

Sensing that I was about 2 seconds away from hitting him with a frying pan, he backtracked. "Of course I was joking! You're already sexy without a super- hot maid's costume!"

Satisfied that I had scared him, I leaned in and tried to give him a quick peck on the lips.

Jace had other ideas. He wrapped his arms around my waist and crushed his lips to mine. Responding immediately, I wrapped my arms around his neck and started playing with his hair. Jace released a groan from the back of his throat and backed me up against the counter. We continued to kiss, wrapped up in our own little universe, when I smelled something burning.

"Jace, do you smell that?" By now he had started to kiss my neck, not even paying attention to what I had just said. I looked towards the stove and instantly found the source of the burning. "My pancakes!"

I broke away from Jace and ran over to the stove, grabbing the skillet off the burner and throwing it into the sink. I turned the water on and watched as the pan gave a loud hiss, and steamed up. I turned back to Jace, angry. "You ruined my pancakes! This is all your fault!"

"Relax Becca; you still have some batter left."

Feeling like I needed to exact some revenge, I walked over to the batter, picked it up, and said, "Now I don't have a pan to cook it on. I guess I'll just have to use your 'hot' face and see if that cooks it."

I dumped the pancake mix all over his head.

I was laughing hysterically as I watched him wipe the batter out of his eyes. The clumpy mess covered his entire head and neck. He looked down at me, because I was rolling around on the ground from laughing, and gave me his scary-calm expression. I was instantly a little scared. "You're so dead Fray."

Not wanting to find out what he had in mind, I ran out of the kitchen and sprinted down the halls of the Institute. I could feel Jace's heavy footsteps pounding on the ground behind me and I knew that it was just a matter of time before I got caught. I sprinted even faster.

I had almost reached my bedroom when Jace tackled me to the floor. I yelped in pain as Jace landed on top of me, but forgot about it as he started kissing me. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds because then he started to wipe his batter-covered face all over my shirt. "What the hell Jace?!"

He looked up at me and faked an innocent expression. "What? You got my face dirty so I just assumed that you were going to help me clean it off."

I was about to tell him off, but then I heard people laughing. I craned my neck around to find Izzy, Simon, Alec, and Magnus bursting with laughter. "What's so funny?" I knew I was being a bit hostile, but I was in a bad mood.

Magnus, wearing blue leather pants and a green matador's jacket, stopped laughing and spoke up. "Darling, that pancake batter is tanner than you are."

Isabelle decided to throw in her own joke, "Woah bitch, don't blow your stack!"

Everyone started to laugh again, but when I saw Simon open his mouth, I pointed my finger at him in warning. "Don't you dare."

He threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. We just came here to tell you that there's been an increase in demon activity and that we're going hunting tonight. Do you and Jace wanna come?"

I looked up at Jace, who was still lying on top of me, and nodded my head. "Sure thing Bloodsucker, what time should me and Rebecca be ready to leave at?"

"Be ready to go at 7 tonight. We'll be in the woods so dress comfy." Alec spoke this time.

They all turned to leave, but right before they rounded the corner, Simon turned around and said, "See you on the flip side!"

**Did any of you pick up on my pancake jokes? Yes? No?**

**I'm sorry this is a filler chapter! But have no fear because some serious stuff is about to go down.**

**P.S: I'm planning on getting a Beta soon. I have it narrowed down to about 5 people and will be contacting them soon. I'm sorry if I don't update for a while, but I'll be getting things in order with the new Beta. **

**See you soon, ByTheAngel99 **


	13. Valentine's Vampires

Scarred for Life

Chapter 13

**Sorry it took me a little bit longer to update than usual, but I was looking for a Beta. I found one! Her name in KelseyMasun16 and she is amazing! She edited this chapter and made it SO much better! Thanks!**

Clary P.O.V

It was now 6:45 later that night, and I had just finished getting dressed to go hunting. My outfit consists of a black tank top, matching combat boots, and tight dark pants made from a leathery material. Securing my brown hair in a sleek high ponytail, I made my way to the weapon's room.

When I walked through the door, I found Alec loading his quiver with a dozen multicolored feather arrows. He turned around when the door slammed unexpectedly behind me. "Hey, Rebecca, are you getting weapons?"

I nodded while making a beeline for a long wall adorned with various seraph blades, trying to ignore the guilty pang in my stomach that gnawed on my conscience whenever I heard the name 'Rebecca'.

I failed.

I hate having to lie to the people that I have come to regard as my second family. Even though Isabelle and Maryse already knew my true identity, I wanted everyone else to know, too. _Especially_ Jace. We were officially a couple now, but I felt like I was betraying him every time he breathed my name or leaned in for a kiss. On top of all that, I still have to deal with my psychotic father and mentally deranged brother.

"Ummm, Rebecca?" My head snapped up to meet Alec's. He was clad in our full shadowhunter gear, weaponry and gadgets included, with a curious glint in his piercing blue eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Are you ready? You've been staring at the wall for the past 10 minutes."

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Just… give me one second." I grabbed a couple of seraph blades, a small vial of holy water, a flask of silver powder, plus a chakra, and ran down the hall after him. I walked into the front room to find Alec, Magnus, Jace, and Simon waiting by the door, looking rather impatient.

"Where's Izzy?" I made my way to Jace, who immediately wrapped a possessive arm around my shoulders and shot Simon a taunting triumphant look. Simon, who was watching me intensely, rolled his eyes at Jace with an unidentifiable expression on his face.

Magnus looked up from his whispered conversation with Alec and answered my question with an exasperated sigh and disapproving wave of one polished hand. "She's still getting ready… women!" He shook his head, causing a sea of glitter to rain down in a magnificent arc on the hardwood floor.

"Shut up, Magnus! I would have been ready sooner, but _someone _stole my eyeliner." Isabelle stomped into the room and gave Magnus an accusingly pointed look.

"Shut up, both of you! Everyone's finally ready, so let's go kill some demons!" Alec exclaimed harshly and marched out the front door. Too startled with the fact that Alec had snapped, we followed after him without further debate.

.o.O.o.

After spending nearly half an hour driving out of the city, we finally reached Cain Forest. It's known in the Shadowhunter community as a hotbed for demon and rogue downworlder activity.

Simon parked his beat up van, which had been a moving away present for Simon from Eric, on the outskirts of the forest. We climbed out and began our long trek through the dense forest. After hiking for about 20 minutes, we reached a clearing.

Jace crouched down and inspected the forest ground. "There's human blood on the ground; lots of it. I think we have ourselves a rogue vampire nest to take care of."

We all smiled knowingly and moved deeper into the wooded area. We walked another half mile, until we discovered our first clue that the vampires were near. A disgusting scent, a mix between rotting corpses and death, tainted the air and caused my throat to burn slightly. Not even five seconds after the stench overcame us, six vampires appeared from behind the tree line and strode into the clearing. Their numbers consisted of three drop dead –no pun intended- gorgeous girls and three equally as attractive guys.

Two of the women were really tall with perfect, long blonde hair and striking blue eyes. They looked to be in their early twenties. They were each holding hands with their 'mates'. One of whom, was Hispanic looking with dark dreadlocks and chocolate brown eyes. The other had shorter black hair with pale grey eyes. Though they obviously weren't lacking in the beauty department, they each had a dark, predatory air to them.

As my eyes traveled to the last two remaining vampires, I gasped. They were children! The girl looked around 14 and the boy couldn't be more than 8 years old when they were Changed. The girl also had blonde, curly hair and innocent blue eyes. The small boy had light brown hair with angry, guarded hazel eyes.

The adult man with black hair stepped forward and spoke. "Hello, Shadowhunters, my name is Christian. How may we help you this evening?"

Jace snorted, "Christian? Funny name, you know, considering you're damned for eternity."

Christian frowned at one of Jace's signature snide remarks, "Tsk, tsk. I would think you would be more polite around the Children of the Night considering you have one traveling with you tonight."

I glanced over at Simon and saw that he looked incredibly uncomfortable. I decided to step in. "We are polite to every downworlder, that is, until they break Clave Law." The adult vampires did a good job of keeping their emotions in check, but the little girl's face looked guilty. That told me that she was only recently Changed.

Isabelle spoke with a superior tone. "All six of you are to be executed, under the name of the Clave, for feeding on mundanes."

One of the blonde women jumped forward and ran towards Magnus. She stopped about 5 feet from him and dropped onto her knees. "Magnus, you can't let them do this! Remember the love we used to share?"

"I do remember, Camille, but we have both moved on. I now have my dearest Alec and you have Raphael." Magnus nodded towards the Hispanic looking man. "I am sorry old friend, but you have broken Clave Law, and there isn't anything I can do. You must die for your crimes."

The young girl turned and looked at the other woman desperately with fear in her eyes. "Mom, you said we were invincible; you said we never had to worry about anything, anymore."

"I know Maureen, but we fed off human blood. It made us stronger, but the Clave found out. We must pay." She gave her brief little speech, but then turned and whispered something to her group too low for us to hear. We didn't need to hear, though.

We knew they were going to fight their condemned fate.

Jace and I stealthy slid two seraph blades free of their holsters and whispered their names, while Isabelle unraveled her golden whip from her forearm, Alec notched an arrow in his bow, Magnus' hands began to crackle with blue static, and Simon bared his fangs threateningly.

The vampires turned to look at us in alarm and Christian stepped forward. "Before this turns into a battle, we would like to try to negotiate."

"We don't negotiate with rogues," Jace sneered in disgust.

"Now just wait a minute, Jace, and let's see what they have to say." It was Magnus that had spoken up for the criminals and Christian nodded his head in gratitude.

"Thank you Bane, I see that Camille was right about you; you can be trusted." I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw that Alec was glaring daggers at Camille. "We will give you information regarding Valentine, if you set us free."

I scoffed, "We already know that Valentine and Jonathon broke free."

All sets of eyes turned to stare in my direction and Camille gave me a wicked smirk. "Do you know about Valentine's daughter?"

My blood ran cold and I felt my face grow pale as Jace's head snapped up. I saw his hand flex around his seraph blade, almost as if he was imagining stabbing Clarissa/me. "What information can you tell us about Clarissa Morgenstern?"

"First, you have to swear on the Angel not to kill us, but I can tell you that she's closer than you may think." I closed my eyes to stop myself from crying. _This can't be happening. It's not the right time! Why can't the bloodsucking bitch just back off and let me handle my own problems?_

I opened my eyes when I heard the scream.

I saw Camille on the ground, with a seraph blade through her heart, and Isabelle standing on top of her. Jace looked furious. "What the Hell Isabelle? She could have given us information about Clarissa!"

"She was lying, Jace. She wanted to live, so she came up with a bunch of bullshit. Everyone in the supernatural community knows what happened to your father, and she used that against you."

"You don't know that!"

"Jace," Isabelle locked eyes with me, "If Clarissa is still alive, she would want to stay as far away from you as possible, right now."

"Camille!" We all turned to see Raphael lying on the ground, holding his dead lover's body in his arms. "You! You did this! You will all die for what you have done!" The next thing I knew, Raphael was laying on top of Jace, trying to bite him. Alec quickly ran over to help Jace.

The remaining blonde woman launched herself at Isabelle, but she wrapped her whip around the woman's legs and pulled, effectively bringing her to the ground. Christian started in on Magnus, leaving me to deal with the kids. They slowly walked towards me in an eerie, Children of the Corn manner. The little boy spoke. "Hello, Rebecca Fray, or should I call you Clarissa Morgenstern?"

I looked around to see if anyone had heard, but they were all too engaged in their own battles. "How do you know my name?"

"We work for Valentine. My family and I are very high up in his inner circle, so we know all about you."

"It takes a long time to earn his trust. How old are you?"

"My name is Maxwell, and I am over 800 years old. My sister, Maureen, was just Changed about a year ago."

"Why would someone Change you? You were just kids." I was close to tears at the mere thought of the tragic truth.

"No one would suspect us. We could go wherever we wanted and help in any way possible. That's why Valentine wanted us." Maxwell's calm and collected voice scared me. He sounded like a 40 year old man stuck in an 8 year olds body.

"Why would Valentine want you? His goal in life is to destroy every demon _and_ Downworlder."

"We're not really sure. All we know is that he's a very powerful man with very generous rewards."

"Well then, I'm sorry to say, but you won't live much longer to enjoy his '_very generous rewards'_."

"Ha! We'll see about that." He gave me a dark, evil smile and seemed to disappear. Maureen launched herself at me and I had to quickly move to the side to avoid her small body.

She landed on all fours, like a cat, and spun around to face me. I brought my seraph blade up in hopes of stabbing her, but one polished combat foot left the ground and kicked me hard in the wrist, breaking the bone, and causing me to fling the seraph blade across the clearing. I cried out in pain, but quickly grabbed another blade out of my belt, named it, and flung it at her chest in desperation as she lunged at me again. I heard the audible _thunk_ and knew that I had found my target.

I turned around to go see if anyone else needed help, but Maxwell reappeared out of nowhere and landed on my back. "This is for Camille."

He whispered as he sank his small fangs into my exposed neck. The last things I remember seeing were Jace's panicked expression and terrified eyes, before the world went black.

**I'll probably slow my updates down to about twice a week now. Once again, thanks KelseyMasun16!**

**Tell me what you thought!**

**See you soon,**

**ByTheAngel99**


	14. Alive and Kickin'

Scarred for Life

Chapter 14

***I tried uploading this on 2/8/13, but it wouldn't let you access this chapter through email so I re-posted this chapter.**

**I'm so sorry it took me almost a week to update! Me and my Beta both had lots of homework! (My Spanish teacher gave us two days to do a HUGE project! :-()**

Jace P.O.V

My knife had just wedged itself into Raphael's chest with a satisfying thud and I looked around eagerly to see if anyone else needed assistance. Isabelle landed with a flourish beside me, the decapitated the blonde vampire's head falling to the dirt floor, while Magnus, Simon, and Alec were circling Christian with triumphant eyes. I glanced behind me and saw Rebecca throw a seraph blade at Maureen's heart with precise aim.

_ That's my girl!_

I parted my lips to call out to her, when I watched with horror as Maxwell landed on top of her back. My heart seemed to stop and I froze in panic, before my Shadowhunter instincts kicked in and I sprinted across the clearing, trying to reach my beautiful Rebecca in time. I was only a mere ten feet away, when his fangs slid free and attached themselves to her pale neck.

_ No!_

I ripped another seraph blade from its hilt at my side in desperation, cried out "Nakir!", and lodged it in-between Maxwell's shoulder blades.

He unlatched his deadly fangs from Rebecca's flesh wound and turned to glare at me incredulously. _How is that possible? He should be dead! _Seeing the confusion clearly visible in my eyes, Maxwell laughed manically.

"We work for Valentine; do you really think he wouldn't give us something to protect ourselves against Angel magic?" He shook his head in disbelieve and let out another short bark of laughter, before turning to his fellow brethren. "Come on guys, funs over. Let's go."

All at once, Maureen, Camille, Raphael, and Christian rose from their scattering spots on the ground and brushed themselves off. The other blonde woman's crumpled body remained where it fell. It probably had something to do with the fact her decapitated head rested a few feet away. The surviving five vampires, including Maxwell, turned on their heels and disappeared into the dense forest without another word.

Now that the nightmare had reached its abrupt end, my attention snapped back to Rebecca. She was lying on the ground with blood trickling out of the two puncture points on the side of her neck. I noted that her already naturally pale skin looked nearly translucent under the moonlight. "Oh, no."

I whirled around and scanned for her vampire bestie. Simon held a hand clamped around his mouth and nostrils. Thin blue veins were also starting to appear around his enlarged eyes. "There's too much blood. I need to get out of here."

Isabelle nodded in a silent agreement and looped her arm with his, before pulling him in the general direction of his van. "I'll come with you."

Alec and Magnus joined me at my side with matching concerned expressions on their faces. "I told you not to use the seraph blade, Alexander. If you had let me use my magic, we would have had one less murderous vampire on our hands."

Alec's hair hid his guilty grimace from view as he hung his head in shame and subconsciously leaned away from Magnus. Their restrained, neutral voices made something deep inside of me snap. I left my spot at Rebecca's side to wave my hands at them in bewilderment.

"Do something Magnus! Help me save Rebecca! There's no way in Hell that I am going to let her die! Save her! I swear on the Angel, that I will not let her die!" As my little speech came to an end, I felt a sharp tug at my heart, but dismissed it for now.

Magnus nodded and bent over Rebecca's limp body, slowly examining the bite marks. "She's lost a lot of blood and has vampire poison running through her veins. I can stop the bleeding, but we need to take her back to the Institute if we want to get that poison out of her system."

I nodded vigorously and gently bent to pick her up bridal style. She felt limp in my arms, dead. I knew that we had to get her to the Institute soon if I ever wanted to see her beautiful eyes again.

.o.O.o.

Clary P.O.V

_ Wake up Rebecca. Come on, Rebecca, just open your eyes. Please, Rebecca! Just show me that you're still alive!_

I suddenly became aware of an angel's whispering voice next to my ear. If I concentrated hard enough, I could even picture the angel, too. He had curling honey-blonde hair, piercing gold eyes, and perfectly bronzed skin.

_Wait, that's not an Angel. That's Jace!_ "Jace?"

I felt the warmth of his hand wrapped around mine, sending passionate flames throughout my fragile shell of a body. "Oh, thank the Angel, Rebecca; I thought I had lost you."

I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth at the knowledge of his fear of losing me. My heart swelled in my chest and I felt giddy all of a sudden.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, Wayland." I finished my sentence and hunched over coughing, my throat feeling like harsh sandpaper. I felt Jace wrap my fingers around a clear glass of water as he guided my head towards the rim to help me drink.

I realized how thirsty I actually was and gulped down the entire glass in one sitting, before slowly opening my eyes. I looked around the room for the first time since I regained consciousness and recognized the pale white walls of the infirmary. It was easily twice as large as my guest room upstairs and held dozens of hospital beds, all neatly filed in a row. All of them were empty, except for the one I was currently laying on.

My eyes returned to the chair beside my bed and I locked eyes with Jace. His expression was one of worry, hope… and dare I  
I say love? His hand, which was still holding up my head, started stroking my hair softly. "I thought I had lost you. I saw Maxwell jump on top of you and thought that that was the last time I'd ever get to touch you, to hold you, to kiss you."

His distraught gaze traveled to my lips as he finished talking. I leaned in and met his lips with mine. He felt soft against my mouth and I felt my stomach twisting as I was reminded of how his kisses could make me feel. It was slow and drawn out, but it expressed all of the emotions that we had been feeling.

It was unfortunately cut short, when an oblivious Isabelle came barging through the door. "Hey Rebecca, I see you're finally awake! It took you long enough." She mumbled the last part under her breath and gave me an enthusiastic grin.

"How long have I been unconscious?"

"Hmmm, let's see. We went hunting on the 21st and it's now the 29th, so, eight days."

I felt my jaw practically hit the floor and my eyes doubled in size. "Eight days! How could I have possibly been asleep that long?"

Jace held my hand once again and used his thumb to draw reassuring circles on the backside of mine. "Maxwell injected you with a lot of venom when he bit you. It took a while for your body to get it out of your system."

I nodded numbly as the realization of Isabel's earlier words took full affect and fell back against the bed. I wasn't really concerned about Maxwell or the others. I knew that tomorrow was the 30th, the last day of the month. I had to tell Valentine my final choice, even though I hadn't fully decided yet. Should I choose to protect my loved ones, but kill thousands of innocent Downworlders? Or should I save the Downworlders and sentence everyone I know to death?

**Ahhhh, snap! What's going to happen? I'll have a new chapter soon and you can find out! :-)**

**Note: My awesome Beta KelseyMasun16 is going back and editing Chapters 1-12, so I'll be replacing the old ones soon.**


	15. I've Made My Decision

Scarred for Life

Chapter 15

**I can't apologize enough! I know it's been 2 weeks since I've updated and I honestly have no good excuse. I had a bunch of school work plus writers block. My Beta, KelseyMasun16, was sick and just sent me this chapter about 20 minutes ago. I hope you feel better!**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

Clary P.O.V

After reassuring everyone that I was 100% fine and I wasn't going to mysteriously drop dead or grow fangs anytime soon, I managed to finally break out of the infirmary and sneak into my bedroom. I popped my head into the hall and checked for any signs of currently unwanted company, before turning the lock on the door and briefly leaning against it with an exhausted sigh. I then slowly walked over to my dresser and dug the little silver bell out from underneath disheveled layers of padded bras and decorative underwear. I hadn't noticed it when Valentine had first given the trinket to me, but the bottom was engraved with swirling symbols and shapes. It looks like fairy writing.

_ Is Valentine working with fairies? Is that how he has become so powerful? _I fully intend to ask him. I had just leveled the bell with my face to ring it when I heard a loud knock on the door. I jumped in surprise and quickly hid the bell behind my back. I attempted to hide any emotion from my face and swallowed my guilt as I tucked the bell in my pocket and ran to unlock it.

It was Jace. "Hey Becca, I thought you could use some company so, naturally, I came to offer my services."

He waggled his eyebrows. If I hadn't been so stressed, I would have rolled my eyes at his obvious innuendo. "Gee, thanks Jace, but I think I'll pass for now. Actually, I was just going to take a shower so if you could just leave…" I let the sentence fade of and opened my bedroom door in the universal sign for "please leave".

Jace's face fell and his beautiful eyes shown with hurt and disappointment, but he quickly smoothed out his expression and nodded a quick goodbye before walking into the hall. After he left, I waited a few minutes to ensure that no one else barged in unexpectedly. When I decided the coast was clear, I pulled the bell from my back pocket and gave it a deviant shake. It had a sharp, clear ring that seemed to echo throughout my entire bedroom. I was instantly worried that someone had heard it and would come running.

Too distracted trying to decide if the footsteps I heard were simply my mind playing tricks on me, I didn't even see the large portal that had formed in the middle of my room.

"Hello, baby sis." I bit back a frightened scream as I whirled around in a flurry of panicked confusion. Jonathan stood in front of me with a rather amused look on his flawless face. His cold eyes slowly raked over every inch of my body before meeting my stare, lust swirling in his eyes. I crossed my arms over my torso in a weak attempt to hide myself from him and tried to get rid of the chill that still lingered in the air.

"Can we just go already? I wouldn't want to keep His Royal Highness waiting."

Jonathan face distorted with fury and he snapped. "Valentine Morgenstern is our father and you will treat him with respect. He can give you anything you want, but you are just too blind to see it. Quit being so selfish and help us bring pride to the Morgenstern name!"

His fists were curled at his sides like he wanted to strike me. _Do it, _I mentally urged him,_ hit me. Punching daddy's little disappointment is sure to make him love you._

After a few seconds, Jonathan had regained his posture and relaxed noticeably. He held out his hand towards me, palms up. "Come on Clarissa, Father is anxious for your arrival."

.o.O.o.

As soon as I stepped through the portal, I was thrown roughly onto the stone floor. I growled at my brother and spun around on my knees quickly. "What the Hell was that for?"

Jonathan simply chuckled. "Come on, Clarissa. Like you don't already know. It's the last day of the month. Father is furious that you took so long to decide. He wants you to understand that you have no power over him. That you are weak."

Jonathan crouched down beside me and placed a calloused hand between my prominent shoulder blades. "But if you join us, you will be strong. You will rule this world alongside Father and me."

His hand slowly started to travel down my back. I shivered involuntarily and felt bile threaten to rise. "How do you think our dearest daddy would feel if I told him that you were touching me so personally, Jonathan? I know Valentine is a sickly twisted man, but even incest is beneath him." A look of shame and rage flashed across his face. The next thing I knew, a sharp pain spread throughout my abdomen as Jonathan stood up and kicked my side. I felt the breath leave my lungs and a burning sensation spread throughout me body. He would have struck me again, but Valentine decided to make his appearance.

"Jonathan, stop abusing your sister, right now." His words may have made him sound like a concerned parent, but his tone was icy and didn't hint any of his true emotions. "Now help Clarissa up and apologize to her."

"Of course, Father." He reached out to assist me, but I was already on my feet. "Please forgive me, Clarissa. My actions were blindly out of rage and I meant you no harm."

An overly sweet smile appeared on my face and I replied in the most sarcastic tone humanly possible. "Well, of course I forgive you Jonathan. I know that my big brother would never _dream_ of laying a hand on me."

Jonathan visibly paled and I smirked at him with knowing eyes as if to say, _what now? Not so big and tough I see_. Valentine cleared his throat.

"Now that that's out of the way, come along Clarissa." He turned on his heel and walked out the door. I contemplated using my stele to make a portal and run home, but Jonathan saw my indecision and grabbed my elbow and marched us after Valentine.

As I stepped out into the hall, I noticed that it was bare of any sentimental décor. There were simply concrete floors, concrete walls, concrete ceilings, and no windows. It smelled of mildew and rotten garbage. "Nice place you got here," I mumbled under my breath.

Jonathan just squeezed my elbow tighter and kept walking. We stopped in front of an oak double door. Standing guard outside were two goblins. I wrinkled my nose in disdain. Goblins were supposed to be extinct, and I wish they were. They were about 4 feet tall, had green, pimply skin, and rotten brown teeth. The goblins saw Jonathan and opened the door without another word.

We stepped into a dining room. Valentine was seated at the end of an extravagant mahogany table, meticulously sipping his wine. Jonathan led me to my spot and placed me into the seat directly across from Valentine, while he sat in a seat between the two of us.

I was getting tired of this. I just wanted to tell Valentine my decision already. I don't know why, but he just kept trying to prolong the inevitable. "Look, I appreciate you giving me this offer, really I do, but I don't appreciate it when my father threatens the people I love. I came here to give you my decision, and I will. I'm not joining your disgusting demon army. You are a repulsive man, Valentine Morgenstern, and one day soon you will get what you deserve and rot in the fiery pits of Hell."

To give him credit, Valentine didn't look fazed by my outburst in the slightest. Jonathan, on the other hand, looked beyond pissed. "How dare you speak to our father that way, Clarissa! After everything he's done for you. You little-"

Valentine held up a hand, effectively silencing Jonathan mid-sentence. "Enough, Jonathan. Clarissa has made her decision. If that is what you truly want, then I will honor your decision, but I must warn you, I will still hold up my end of the bargain. I don't take being rejected lightly. Just ask your mother."

His last sentence rattled me. _What does he mean by 'ask my mother'? She's dead._ "I can't ask Jocelyn, she's dead."

I saw Valentine's eyes light up momentarily before returning to their usual coldness as he realized that he knew something I didn't. "Is she?" The words came of his lips playfully and my stomach dropped away at the small sliver of hope that grew inside me. I was about to open my mouth when I felt the familiar burn of a stele against my neck and the world, once again, faded to black.

**What did you think? Do you forgive me for taking so long? Does it matter how many times I apologize? Will it help if I give you puppy dog eyes and flash my dimples? (It works on my friend Julia :-))**

**I luv you?**

**BFF's?**

**REVIEW!**

**~ByTheAngel99**


	16. I'm Sorry

Scarred for Life

Chapter 16

***Hides behind pillow* **

**I know its been over a week since I updated... again. I had this chapter finished on Saturday and sent it to my Beta, but it's now Tuesday and she hasn't sent it back to me yet. So here is my Un-Beta'd chapter... please be gentle. :'(**

Clary P.O.V

I woke up feeling dizzy and disoriented. It took me a few moments, but then I remembered what had happened with Valentine and Jonathan. I looked around, expecting to be locked up in a dirty cell, and was surprised to find myself in my room at the Institute.

I got up and walked over to the in-suite bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked normal, maybe a little older than I had when I first arrived, but I still looked like Clary. I twisted my neck a little and saw the weird rune that Jonathan must have put on me last night.

_Was it just last night?_

I hopped in the shower in an effort to scrub away my sense of unease. Once I had showered and changed my clothes, there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" I screamed over the sound of my blow-dryer.

My heart sped up as Jace walked through the door. I quickly shut off the blow-dryer so I could hear what he had to say. "Hey. How's your head?" He gently laid his palm on my forehead and I leaned into his touch.

I decided that I had to stop pushing him away. I didn't care anymore about how it would affect our relationship when he found out the truth. I just wanted to live in the moment and spend as much with him as I could, before he hated me. "I'm so sorry Jace."

His perfect eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Sorry about what?"

"I've been a total bitch to you. I've repeatedly pushed you away, and I don't deserve to have you. I understand if you want nothing to do with me." I was surprised when my voice came out steady. Now was not the time for tears.

"Listen Rebecca, I don't know what's gotten into you, I'm not mad. I know that you're hiding something from me, and it hurts that you don't trust me enough to tell me." I opened my mouth to protest, but he silenced me with a look. "Hear me out, I know that if it was important enough, you'd tell me."

I was blinded by how much he trusted me. _He shouldn't trust me. It will only make this so much harder for him… and for me._ "I want to tell you Jace, so much that it hurts, but I just can't."

Jace looked into my eyes, green meeting gold, and looked deep into them. He looked like he was searching for something. I knew that if he looked long enough, my defenses would fall and he'd know my secret. I couldn't let him find out.

I crushed my lips to his. He responded immediately and wrapped his arms around my waist. I circled my arms around his neck and played with the little blonde curls at the base of his neck. I tried to convey everything I felt in that kiss. The sorrow, the guilt, and the love.

_Wait a second… did I just say love?_ I felt my lips curl into a smile._ Yes, yes I did. I love Jace Wayland!_

His tongue darted out of his mouth and swiped across my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I gladly gave it. I felt his tongue explore my mouth and I knew that I could spend the rest of my life like this.

After what felt like hours, I finally broke away and rested my forehead against Jace's. We were both breathing heavily. "As much as I love this, and I do, was there a reason that you came into my room?"

"Of course, I came to ask you if you wanna do rounds with me tonight. Demon activities have been down lately and I thought we could finish quick, and then go to Taki's for a late dinner."

I put hand over my heart in mock surprise. "Why Jace, are you asking me out on a real date? Wouldn't that be against tradition?"

"If you're gonna be a smart ass about it then I guess I won't take you." Jace got off the bed and started walking towards my door.

"Wait!" I ran over and jumped onto his back, trying to tackle him to the ground. "I'll go! I think it would be nice to go out, just the two of us."

I jumped off Jace's back and walked in front of the door, preventing him from leaving. Jace noticed my actions and smirked. "Don't worry baby, with me there, it'll be the best date ever."

I rolled my eyes and laughed, playfully pushing him away. "Naturally."

"So, are you going to move out of the way so I can leave, or are you going to keep and in here forever and use me to fulfill all you wildest, and dirtiest, fantasies? Personally, I'm leaning towards option two."

"You know, I _would _pick option two, but I'd get tired of you after a while and regret my decision."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was slammed up against my bedroom door. Jace was hovering over me, his lips just a few inches from mine. "Please Becca, you haven't regretted me once."

We kissed again. This one was slower, and more sensual then the last. We didn't have anything to prove to the other. We were just happy being in each other's arms. Jace was the one to break away this time. "I should probably leave. Alec wants to get in some extra training before we leave tonight. Be ready to go at 6:30." With another kiss goodbye, he was gone.

I dropped back onto my bed and fell asleep, dreaming about what adventures tonight would hold.

**So there you have it. A cutesy little filler chapter. I got a review saying that Clary was kinda being a bitch to Jace, and I just wanted to clarify that it was because she didn't want to fall in love. She thought that if she acted rude then he wouldn't want her.**

**But alas, Clace always prevails!**

**Anyone wanna take a guess about what's gonna happen when Jace and Clary go patrol? (Hint: I got this idea from Serenity Shadowstar.)**

**Let me know what you thought! **

**P.S I'll be replacing this chapter with the Beta'd one once she comes out of hiding. :)**


	17. Some Serious Shit

Scarred for Life

Chapter 17

**Hey guys! This chapter is Un-Beta'd just because I wanted to get something up, so sorry for the mistakes. I've had this chapter written for a while, I was just SUPER busy. Enjoy...**

Jace P.O.V

Rebecca and I were walking down some road in Brooklyn. The streets were deserted. The only sounds came from the scurrying of rats' feet and garbage being blown by the wind. I pushed the sleeve of my jacket up and checked my watch.

_10:46_

We'd already walked around the various streets of New York for about 3 hours now, and I felt bad. I had promised Rebecca dinner at Taki's. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. Her green, velvet coat hugged her tiny curves perfectly and her petite, freckled nose was red from the cold. Her arms were wrapped around her waist, trying to conserve heat.

I stepped closer to her and put my arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry that we are still out here, Rebecca. The sensor's giving out weird signals and I just want to make sure that everything's alright.

She turned her head and flashed me a brilliant smile. "Of course, Jace. I'll be alright and I'm sure that the sensor's just spazzing out." I looked into her eyes and tried to see if she was upset with me, and saw an emotion I didn't expect to see.

_Fear, mixed with a little guilt._

"Are you alright, Rebecca?"

"Yep." She said, popping the 'p'.

We continued to walk on, but I was distracted. I knew she was hiding something from me. I'd known she was hiding things since the day I met her. But something is different now. It's almost like she knows that something is going to happen, and she feels like it's all her fault. "You know you can trust me, right?"

Rebecca jumped. Whether from the random-ness of the question, or the fact that she wasn't prepared to answer it, I didn't know. "Ya I know I can trust you. I just don't know if I can trust myself."

I didn't have any time to ponder what she just said, because at exact moment, my sensor starting vibrating. I dug it out of my pocket and looked at the little screen. My face drained of all color and my blood ran cold.

"Jace, what's wrong?"

"Either the sensor's broken, or we are in some serious shit."

.o.O.o.

We stopped in front of an old warehouse, my sensor practically burning my hand. Something big was about to go down. I could tell Rebecca was nervous too by the tense set of her shoulders. She looked up at me with terrified jade eyes, asking what we should do next.

I would do anything to see those beautiful eyes again.

"Whatever happens, Rebecca, we will do this together. Okay?" I grabbed her hands and stared deep into her glorious eyes to emphasize my point.

She detached one of her hands from mine and placed it on my cheek. I couldn't help but close my eyes and lean into her touch. "I trust you, Jace." Her voice raised an octave at the end and I looked at her. She looked guilty, and heartbreakingly sad.

"Are you ok?"

"It's not important. Let's do this."

I grabbed a stele out of my belt and she grabbed a stele out of hers. I never understood her obsession with the stele. Sure, she knew more runes than most, but it still couldn't replace a weapon. We slowly entered the warehouse, me taking the lead.

As we entered the warehouse, every nerve in my body hummed with anticipation. I was ready for a good fight. It had been almost two weeks since I'd killed a demon.

The doorway opened up into a wide room. At first glance there was nothing out of the ordinary: a few industrial machines, various tools, and hundreds of boxes stacked 40 feet high. I slowly peeled away the glamour. I knew Rebecca envisioned peeling away layers in a painting, but I imagined sharpening a knife. Getting it so sharp that all I have to do is take it and pop the glamour away.

_Pop!_

I almost jumped with the sudden appearance of four greater demons hiding in the different corners… almost. A tiny shriek from Rebecca tells me that she had just done the same thing. The first demon that caught my attention was Asmoday. He was thought to be the serpent that deceived Eve and caused her to get kicked out of Heaven.

The second demon was Botis. He could tell the past and the future. Like fairies, he gave you the truth, but twisted it and made you wish that you never wanted it in the first place.

The next demon, Deumos, was considered one of the most dangerous demonesses ever. She had 4 horns, a crown, and considered herself higher than Lilith.

The final demon sent chills down my spine. Zagan was the demon king. He's exceptionally deceitful and incredibly sly.

The demoness stepped forward, looking only at me. "Must we kill him, Zagan? He is a beautiful creature. I could have fun with him." She purred and stepped forward, running a taloned finger down my arm.

Botis stepped forward. "We must get rid of them now! If they continue to live, they will destroy any chance demons ever have of ruling this planet. I see dark things in our future unless they are destroyed."

It was Zagan who spoke this time. "We have our orders Deumos, the boy must be killed and the girl alive. Although, he didn't stay in what condition." He smiled evilly, showing off his pointed incisors.

My hand flexed around my blade, preparing to die trying to protect the girl I love.

_Wait a second, did I just say love? _A joyful smile broke out across my face. _Yes I did! I love Rebecca Fray! _

I felt a sharp pang in my heart, similar to the feeling I got at the battle with the vampires'. Once again, I passed it off and moved on.

"Jace," Rebecca hissed, peeking at me out of the corner of her eye. "Why are you smiling?" I realized the goofy smile was still plastered on my face and quickly replaced it with an indifferent mask.

"Yes child, why are you smiling? If I were a little Shadowhunter facing four Greater Demons, I'd be scared as Hell. No pun intended." Out of the four, I was least scared of Asmoday. He had a sense of humor. our opponents

We all remained still, sizing up our competition. I took this time to choose my opponents. _I'll definitely take on Botis. As long as I don't decide my moves until the last moment, he can't tell my future._ I also decided to fight Zagan. Once Rebecca is done with the other two, she can help me finish him.

I had just finished finalizing the details when Botis lunged.

.o.O.o.

All I remember is blood. My thick, red blood and the demon's black, poisonous blood mixing as it out flowed of our bodies. And I knew was that I was losing… bad.

I avoided another blow from Botis, knocking me back a few steps, and threw out a question for Zagan. "Who sent you?"

Zagan, who was standing in the middle of the room, watching the fights, smiled. "An evil man that has great rewards."

He didn't have to say who. "Valentine?"

"Owww!" The sound of steel sliding into flesh and Rebecca's strangled cry snapped me right out of my hazy cloud of rage. I looked over and saw Rebecca, kneeling on the ground, with Deumos pulling a blade out of her abdomen. The demoness looked particularly smug as she wiped the blade on her pants.

All three Greater Demon's, with the exception of Zagan, turned their attention to me. They circled me, like lion's deciding whether or not they should eat me for dinner. Zagan turned his full attention to us, waiting for the inevitable bloodbath.

I decided that I wouldn't go down without a fight. Rebecca wouldn't want that. She'd want me to fight and die a warrior death, a Shadowhunter death.

Clary P.O.V

I hit the ground with a heavy thud. I heard Deumos walk away from me, probably headed after Jace.

_Jace._

His name made me fight to keep my eyes open. I just wanted to see him one last time. I lifted one eyelid and saw him being circled.

_I'm not just gonna let him die! I refuse to just let him be slaughtered!_

I felt around the floor for my stele, finding it by my left elbow. I gripped it tightly in my hand and closed my eyes. I imagined the word _realm._

A rune appeared behind my eyelids and I wrote it on the cold, cement floor without a second thought. I poured every single emotion I was feeling into that rune. Love, self-hate, disgust, guilt, and hope.

I opened my eyes, but quickly shut them again. The room filled with a heavenly white light. It was coming from my rune. The started to widen and stretch until it resembled a black hole. Coming from the hole were the screams of the perpetually damned.

By now, the demons had stopped circling Jace and were staring at the hole in horror. "You ignorant little brat! Close this portal right now or I will rip the skin from your bones, and burn the flesh right off your body!" Deumo's eyes had turned a bright orange, like the fiery pits of Hell that she was about to get sucked into.

Zagan was the only one who remained calm. He seemed to keep his head best. His cold black eyes turned to me. "He was right about you. He said that as you discovered your powers, you'd become stronger and stronger, until you were unstoppable. I didn't believe him. If this is my punishment for under-estimating you, then I shall accept. But don't think this is the last time you will see me. Everyone, we are leaving."

Knowing that they couldn't disobey the King of all Demons, the Greater Demons followed with heads' hung low.

Once they were all through and the portal disappeared, the fatigue and immense pain hit me. I whimpered as I let my head hit the concrete floor beneath me. Jace ran over and crouched down next to me, trying to assess my injury without causing me any more pain. "By the Angel, Rebecca, I'm so sorry! I will fix you. I promise!"

"Jace," I managed to gasp out. I had to prepare myself, mentally and physically, for what I was about to say. "My real name is Clarissa Morgenstern and I killed your father. Also, I'm hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you."

My brain barely had time to register the shock, hurt, and anger on his face before I fell into a world of peace and prosperity.

**Awww! So much stuff just happened! Maybe you should take a moment for your mind to register everything that you just read.**

**Are you good now?**

**Review!**


	18. Confession

Scarred for Life

Chapter 18

**Yay, I completed my goal! I promised myself that I would update by Friday and I did! I would just like to point out that in the last chapter, I DID in fact quote from Twilight. I didn't even realize that I did it until I got all your comments about it. So I know that a lot of you were mad that I ended it where I did so, here's Jacie's point of view! :)**

Jace P.O.V

"Jace, my real name is Clarissa Morgenstern and I killed your father. Also, I'm hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you." Then she passed out.

_What. The. Fuck?_

At first I was confused. What does she mean? She can't really be Clarissa Morgenstern. Clarissa had red hair. I reached out and ran my fingers through her auburn locks. I pulled my hand away. It was stained brown. _She must have re-dyed it before we left._

Then I was hurt. _How could she do this to me? _I loved her and she threw it back in my face! The first girl I ever had feelings for and she turns out to be the one person in this world that I hate with every fiber in my being.

Finally, I was angry. Actually, angry was an understatement. I was furious! I was devastated! I was so blinded by unadulterated rage that I grabbed a dagger from my belt.

I forgot that she was my one and only true love. I forgot that she was the one girl who saw through my mask. I forgot all those private embraces and wonderful memories that we had together.

All I could remember was the oath that I swore to her 8 years ago. _"I'll kill you Clarissa Morgenstern! I swear on the Angel I will! I'll murder your entire family and enjoy every second of it! I promise you."_

I raised the knife above my head, my oath spurring me on, when my entire body became limp, and I fell to the ground.

.o.O.o.

I opened my eyes, a brilliant white light causing me to scream out. I squinted and tried to see where I was. All around me was a never-ending abyss of white. I couldn't tell if there were any walls, or even a floor for that matter. I was floating, caught between space and time.

_Jonathan Christopher Herondale, please rise for the Angel Court._

I wanted to resist, not knowing if the voices in my head really were people, but my feet took over and I found myself standing.

_Jonathan, do you know why you are standing in front of us right now?_

I remembered what I had been about to do before I passed and hissed at the un-seeable beings. "I have no idea why I am here. Now if you could just send me back, I have some unfinished business to take care of."

Suddenly, 6 angels appeared out of nowhere. They were all beautiful. You couldn't tell their gender, they all look the same. Same golden, shoulder length hair and white, soulless eyes. Same golden wings with white, shapeless robes. The only way you could tell them apart was by their height. The taller you were, the more powerful.

_My poor Jonathan, the girl is the reason we called you here. You see, your paths are conflicted._

"What the hell does that even mean?"

_It means that you must make a choice. You swore two oaths. The first to kill her, the second to protect her no matter what. Those heart pains you were feeling, that was your subconscious trying to make a choice. _

_To kill or to love?_

_Now that your initial anger has vanished, we wanted to give you time to think before you made a mistake that you couldn't change._

I felt empty, like a balloon that had been deflated. _What did I want? Did I really want to kill her? I finally had a chance to avenge my father's death, but if I killed her, I'd be just as evil as she was._ I told myself that that was the only reason I wouldn't kill her. I can't admit to myself that, deep down, I still loved Rebecca/Clarissa.

Like the angel's said. To kill or to love?

"I've made my decision."

.o.O.o.

Alec P.O.V

"Magnus, stop it! That poor cat will never forgive you after this!" I looked over at Magnus, who was bejeweling, yes... I did say bejeweling, his cat, Chairman Meow.

Magnus looked over at me and winked a sparkly eye, causing butterflies to stir deep in my stomach. "Oh please, this is nothing! Did I ever tell you about the time that I stuck him in the washing machine with tie-dyed soap, trying to make him a rainbow cat?"

I smirked and ran my hand over Magnus' arm. "No, I don't believe you have."

Magnus let Chairman go and sat on the couch beside me, gathering me in his arms. "Allie, can we spend every Friday night like this?"

"Not if you call me Allie ever again."

"Meow, feisty! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. But of course, if you stayed with me instead of in that god-awful Institute, I could make sure that you woke up happy _every _morning."

I sighed. Magnus had been dropping hints about me moving in with him for a while now, but it just didn't feel like the right time. "I'd love to Magnus, but with the whole Valentine thing I feel like I should stay there and make sure Jace is okay."

"Oh please, I think Rebecca is doing a good enough job of that. She's the only person I know that can calm Jace down with just a look."

It was true. Ever since she got here, Rebecca and Jace had been attached at the hip. I felt a small pang of jealousy. Jace was my first love, as well as my Parabatai; I would always protect him from harm. Broken hearts as well as poisons and cuts.

As if on cue, my head exploded in pain. I grunted and leaned forward, trying to disentangle my feelings from Jace's. All I could tell was that he was angry… and terrified.

"What's wrong Alec? I need you to talk to me!"

I shot off the couch and ran to Magnus' bedroom, grabbing my jacket off the bed. I turned around and saw Magnus leaning against the door frame, clearly concerned. "Jace is in trouble, and we have to save him."

"He's always in trouble, what's new?"

"This time is different. He's actually scared, and very pissed off about something."

Magnus sighed in defeat and grabbed his green matador jacket from the closet. "Fine. The Terrific Two are once again off to save Goldilocks's ass."

**As an I'm sorry gift, I even threw in some Malec for you! So I'm on Spring Break for the next week or two so my goal is to update AT LEAST 3 times before I'm back in school.**

**REVIEW!**


	19. Hope

Scarred for Life

Chapter 19

**Yay! 2 updates in 4 days! Since lots of drama went down last chapter, I'm slowing it down a little. **

**WARNING: Beginning contains a little bit of fluff in the form of Sizzy! You have been warned.**

Simon P.O.V

"We can't tell anyone about this! This was a one time thing and it can never happen again! Agreed?"

I sighed. Izzy had already warned me hundreds of times not to tell anyone. "Iz, I understand! Why are you so ashamed anyway? It was just se-"

"Be quiet!" She flew across the bed, slapping her hand over my mouth. "If my parents find out, they'll crucify you!"

I grinned and licked her hand. Izzy shrieked and wiped said hand onto the sheets. I wouldn't dare tell Maryse and Robert. Besides the fact that they scared the shit out of me, I wouldn't throw Izzy under the bus. I cared about her.

Did I love her? No.

That spot in my heart would always be reserved for Clary.

When she finally realizes that I'm the one that's always there for her, the one that she comes to when she's upset, and the one that traveled all the way to NEW YORK FUCKING CITY to make sure she didn't die! She will leave Jace once she realized that he was a pretentious ass-hole and he would never truly know her.

Not like I did.

I was brought back to Earth by Isabelle snapping her manicured fingers in front of my face. "Earth to Simon!"

I swatted her hand away. "I'm fine, just got distracted. Now you better put some clothes on and leave before someone comes in." I didn't really want her to leave, especially considering that she wasn't wearing anything except for a lacy blue bra and matching lace underwear.

As if reading my thoughts, Izzy got on the bed and crawled towards me. "I don't think you really want me to go, and I _really_ don't think you want me to put any more clothes on." She stopped in front of me and stretched her neck enough to seductively nip at my earlobe.

I groaned and wrapped my arms around her waist. I crushed my mouth to hers as we fell down onto the bed. We were about to make the sex a two-time thing when we heard the elevator grind into action.

We both sprang apart and started running around, trying to find our clothes. With my vamp speed, it only took me a few seconds to change, but Izzy was still pulling her jeans on when Alec walked in.

"Simon, find Izzy! Jace and Clary are hu-, wow." He stopped talking, his eyes shifting between me and Izzy. "I didn't know I was interrupting something. I would let you finish, but Jace and Rebecca got injured when they were out doing patrols."

At the mention of 'Rebecca' being hurt, I started running down the hall towards the infirmary, Alec and Izzy managing to keep pace behind me. I almost ran past the door leading into the infirmary and had to grab onto the door frame to stop myself.

Once again forgetting my strength, I ripped the door frame right out of the wall. "Whoops." Was all I said as I threw the now useless wood aside and ran into the infirmary.

The first thing I saw was Magnus. I mean, he was kinda hard to miss with all the glitter. _Oh my god, Magnus looks like an Asian version of Edward from Twilight. Who am I kidding? Magnus is WAY more sparkly than some pale emotional thing that gives vampires everywhere a bad name. _

Blue sparks shot from his fingers as he stood over Clary. Panic shot through the spot where my heart used to beat. "Please tell me she's okay."

Magnus looked up, the sparks ceased. "Does she look like she's alright? They battled four Greater Demons'. She was cut deep in the rib cage. Also, she know has extremely strong poison coursing through her veins. It'll take me awhile, but I should be able to heal her physical injuries."

I walked over and grabbed Clary's hand, pressing it between both of mine. Her hair was matted and covered in blood. I really missed her fiery red hair. Her eyes were closed, but they were moving back and forth under her thin eyelids. She must be having a nightmare.

I breathed in deep. Her scent, her intoxicating scent of strawberries and lavender drove me wild. Something about the way Magnus phrased his sentence made me a little confused. "What do you mean 'physical'? Is she somehow mentally injured?"

Magnus gave me a look that sent chills down my spine. "Her aura's all screwed up. She's conflicted. Her emotions are all over the place! Good lord, something huge is going down in Rebecca life!" All of a sudden his head snapped up.

"Simon, Isabelle, can I talk to you in the hallway for a moment?" His voice was eerily formal. I missed the joking Magnus with all his sexual innuendos. Me and Isabelle exchanged a glance as we followed Magnus out the door. Alec made a move to follow, but Magnus waved his hand. "Don't worry Alexander; I'll be back in a minute. Why don't you start wiping the blood off Jace and Rebecca's injuries?" It sounded more like a command than a question.

Magnus walked about 50 feet down the hallway, and then stopped. He whipped around and what I saw shocked me. Flames were dancing in his eyes.

Actual flames.

They hissed and crackled, threatening to spill out and burn down the whole Institute. "Why didn't you tell me that our dear Rebecca Fray was actually Clarissa Morgenstern?"

I froze. Out of all the things that I had expected Magnus to say, that had somehow slipped my mind. "How did you find out?"  
"I was sifting through her mind trying to figure out the extent of her injuries, and I saw everything that she's been through in the last month. Tell me why I shouldn't kill her where she lies."

Isabelle spoke up, tears in her eyes. "You can't kill Clary, Magnus! She's the only friend I have."

Magnus' eyes softened, but he repeated his last sentence. The sense of hopelessness and dread started to overtake my body. I couldn't stop Magnus if he decided he wanted to kill Clary. He's so much more powerful than me.

I had to talk him out of it. "You only saw the past month, right?" Magnus nodded. "Go back into her head and look at _every_ memory. Her families bad, but that doesn't mean she is."

"I will do as you suggest, but if she even looks the slightest bit guilty, she's dead."

All I could was nod my head and hope that what Clary told me about her past was true. All I had at this point, was hope.

**What did you think? I promise that I'll try and have the next chapter up soon, but I make no promises!**

**REVIEW!**

**Also, a shout-out to Iris Hanson. I basically gave her my vision for the rest of the story and she said it was good. I hope you guys will agree!**


	20. Breaking Down Walls

Scarred for Life

Chapter 20!

**Oh my gosh can you believe it!? 20 chapters! I just want to thank all of you who have read my story and stuck with me through everything. You really are the best! I have to warn you, this chapter is a little sad. :(**

**Enjoy!**

Magnus P.O.V ('Cuz everyone loves a sparkly warlock ;))

I walked back into the infirmary, the Daylighter and Isabelle behind me. I was beyond pissed. In my thousands of years of living, I've never been deceived. I always prided myself on knowing everything about everyone.

I'd only met Rebecca, or should I say Clarissa, a few times. She seemed like a nice girl, and I respected anyone that can tame the infamous Jace Wayland. I approached her bedside.

"What's going on Magnus?" I felt Alec touch my shoulder and I instantly felt a little bit calmer.

"I will tell you everything later, I promise. Right now I just have to check something." I leaned down and placed both of my hands on either side of Clarissa's head, right over her temple's. I released a little bit of magic into her mind and was easily sucked into her memories.

.o.O.o.

I skimmed through the first four years of her life. Nothing important happened. She was treated like a princess. Everybody worshipped the ground she walked on.

Things turned interesting when she turned five. Valentine insisted that Clarissa started her training. Jocelyn, Clarissa's mother, argued, saying she was too young. He ignored her and started training Clarissa anyway.

She trained every day for hours on end. Valentine was a cruel teacher. He would have her older brother, Jonathan, fight Clarissa, often resulting in her having bruises and broken bones. Whenever Clarissa fell on the ground or started crying, Valentine would drag her into the basement and beat her. Sometimes he would leave her locked in the basement to starve. When he finally let her out he would apologize and say, 'I just want you to be the best that you can possibly be.' Clarissa wanted to please her father so much that she would insist that it's her fault.

After every beating, she worked harder. She became an expert fighter and one day, on her 6th birthday, she beat Jonathan. She looked up at her father, expecting him to be proud, and was confused when she saw disgust written clearly on his face.

"You're despicable Clarissa. How could you possibly assault your brother and look me in the eye? I thought you were supposed to be kind-hearted and caring. What good does that extra angel blood do if you're still going to be so cruel? You should be ashamed of yourself."

He beat her again, this time allowing Jonathan to help. Clarissa almost died that night. She was left in the basement for a week, not allowed to use a rune to heal herself. Sometime during her week spent locked in the basement, her mother left. She didn't leave a note, just vanished.

From that point on, Clarissa was forced to fend for herself. Jocelyn was the only one that ever stood up for her, and she left.

At first Clary denied it. She couldn't believe her mother would abandon her. Then she was sad. All Clary thought about was, '_why would she leave me here all alone?'_ Then she was furious. She was so destroyed over her mother leaving that her heart turned cold. She shut off her emotions and stopped caring.

Her father learned about her rune power and started forcing Clary to make runes to help the Circle. She made dozens of runes including _pain, sorrow, invincibility, and death. _All of the runes either bettered the members, or tortured their victim's into giving up information. It was during those two years that the Circle was at their strongest. No one could defeat them.

Clary was the most valuable person in the Circle. Everyone bowed down to her, the little girl with an extraordinary gift. She should've questioned what she was making all these runes for, but she didn't care. Her heart remained ice. Thick and impenetrable.

Until that fateful night with the Wayland's.

As soon as she saw Michael chained to the floor, the ice in her heart was cracked. As she learned what her father expected her to do, the crack spread. When Michael talked to her, it spread even wider and started to melt. Then, when she stabbed Michael, all which remained of the ice in her heart was just a thin little layer.

When Jace swore on the Angel to kill her, the ice shattered, breaking her heart along with it.

Lucian saved her that night, but Clary would have rather been killed. She hated herself for what she did. She even tried to kill herself twice, but he stopped her. He broke down her walls and they formed an unbreakable bond.

Luke was the father Clary had always deserved.

He finished training her, he cleared her name with the Clave, and he took her demon hunting. She loved him, but she felt that she never truly deserved it. She would never forgive herself for killing an innocent man.

When Clary was sent off to the Institute, she tried everything in her power to resist Jace. Every time she looked at him, she was reminded that he no longer had a father because of her. Each time she rejected Jace, he came back even more determined.

And, like with Luke, he broke down her walls.

.o.O.o.

I was pulled out of Clary's memories and instantly pulled into a hug. I tensed at the contact, but relaxed when I realized it was Alec. "Why are you crying Magnus? What just happened? Are you alright?"

Out of all the things that I could have done right now, I laughed. "I'm perfectly fine Alexander. I will answer all your questions later, but first, I must apologize." I turned to Simon, who looked extremely tense. Isabelle stood behind him, looking concerned. "I'm sorry that I accused Cla-, I mean Rebecca," I shot a glance at Alec, remembering that he didn't know anything yet. "of being evil. Upon looking through her memories I have decided that she is not only innocent, but one of the most deserving girls I've ever met. She should never have been treated the way she has."

I stood up, wiped the tears off my face, and took hold of Alec's hand. I started pulling him towards the exit, but stopped and turned around. "I must explain everything to Alec, but before I forget…" I pointed towards Clary and mumbled a little spell under my breath. In the blink of an eye, her hair went from being a dull, fake brown to a gorgeous red. "I think I like her better as a ginger." With that, I turned on my heel and strutted out, my work complete.

Alec and I were so far down the hall that we didn't hear Jace wake up.

**Did you like the chapter? I hope so! **

**Guess what guys! I made it into NJHS! (National Junior Honor Society) I'm so excited! I just found out Tuesday! But now I have to go out and buy a dress. :(**

**I wanna make a shout-out to CannibleDuckWithAnAxe4! She is seriously like one of the coolest people ever and leaves the funniest reviews and comments! This ones for you! ;)**

**REVIEW!**


	21. Awake

Scarred for Life

Chapter 21

**So I know you wanted me to update soon... is this soon enough for ya? ;)**

Jace P.O.V

I sat up and yawned, stretching my arms over my head. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was white. For a second I thought that I was still in heaven, but if I looked closer, I could make out hospital beds_. Great, I'm back in the Infirmary._

I turned my head and stopped moving completely, my hands curling into fists by my sides. Clarissa Morgenstern was lying in the bed to my left, looking extremely peaceful as she sleeps. I jumped out of bed and ran over to hers, fully intending to finish what I had started. When I was about a foot away from her bed, I stopped. And not because of a fanged-out Simon standing in my way.

I had hit an invisible wall.

I repeatedly banged my fists on the wall, feeling a sharp sting every time my fists made contact. I was to enraged to care. "Where the hell is Magnus?"

Isabelle stepped forward. I hadn't realized she was even in the room until she spoke up. "I don't know. Probably off in a bedroom somewhere with Alec. Why do you need Magnus?"

"To get him to take down this damn force field thing!"

Simon got out of his predatory stance, realizing I couldn't get near Clarissa. "He didn't put up any force field. Isabelle and I can get as close as we want. You're the only one blocked."

I was just about to ask why, when a voice broke through my thoughts.

_It's because of your decision Jonathan. You can't kill her, only protect her._

"Damnit!" I was struck with the sudden urge to put my fist through a wall.

Isabelle walked around Clarissa's bed and put a comforting had on my arm. "What's wrong Jace?"

"You mean besides the fact that my ex-girlfriend turns out to be the girl I've wanted to kill for the past 8 years and her father and brother are out on a psychotic rampage, intent on destroying everything?" Isabelle rolled her eyes but nodded. "Well, after my epic battle I had a little meeting with a couple Angels. It turns out that I made two oaths pertaining to Clarissa, one to kill her and the other to protect her. The Angels made me choose."

Isabelle nodded, finally understanding. "You chose to protect her. The Angels put up this force field because they wanted to make sure you didn't make any rash decisions."

Simon jumped in, probably feeling left out. "So you can't hurt her?" I nodded my head in conformation. "Good, I can relax for a few minutes!" He sagged down onto Clarissa's bed, holding her hand. I looked at Izzy out of the corner of my eye and saw a flash of jealousy.

She made her expression blank before turning towards me. "What are you going to do with her now?"

I dragged a hand down my face, feeling exhausted. "I have no idea. There's no way I can ever go back to her. Not after what she did to my dad. She's a monster, just like the rest of her family."

"Jace, before you completely make up your mind, I have something to tell you. While you were still unconscious Magnus went through her memories. He was ready to kill her, just like you were. Simon convinced him to go back and look through her entire life. He came out in tears. Magnus is thousands of years old and something tells me that he doesn't cry easily. He also said that Clary was, and I quote, 'Upon looking through her memories I have decided that she is not only innocent, but one of the most deserving girls I've ever met.'"

"Ya, deserving of getting hit by a bus."

Izzy sighed; frustrated that she wasn't getting through to me. "Just keep in mind Jace; she was 8 years old back then. When I was 8 I remembered just how much I wanted to please Mom and Dad. I would do anything just to see the proud look in their eyes. Clary just wanted her dad to be proud of her."

I walked out of the room, not wanting to listen to Isabelle defend Clarissa Morgenstern. I walked into my bedroom, my white walls greeting me. I sat down on my bed and breathed in deeply. It smelt faintly of strawberries and lavender, _her _unique smell.

I couldn't help but reminisce about all the times we had made out on bed. Her smell was probably permanently stuck to my sheets. I tried to fight it, but I smiled at the thought.

I knew, even though I wanted to deny it, that I would always love her. She stole a piece of my heart, and I didn't even want it back. I wanted her to keep it. I wanted her to remember me.

If she remembered me, she'd remember all the terrible things she did to me. She'd remember that she ruined my life.

_Shut the fuck up Wayland! You're a player. You need to stop obsessing over one girl. You can't love her, but you can't kill her so you're just gonna have to shut up and stop being a pussy!_

I shot off my bed and almost sprinted into the training room. Not wanting time for my thoughts to catch up, I ran over to the stereo and turned on a loud, head-banging, rock station. I walked over to the punching bag and let my thoughts go, for a few hours.

.o.O.o.

"Jace!" I turned around when I heard my name being called.

It was just Isabelle.

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Yes, I can see that you're busy trying to wallow away in misery. I just came to tell you something." Isabelle looked down at her feet. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I wouldn't believe it. Isabelle Lightwood looked uncomfortable.

Naturally, I went into over-protective big brother mode. "Is everything alright Iz?"

She looked up at me, looking as if she was scared of how I would react to what she was going to say. "Clary just woke up. She's asking for you."

I froze, surprise assuredly written all over my face. "Why on Earth would she want to see me? Did she really think that I'd want to see her after what she told me?"

"Honestly Jace, I think it's a test. She wants to see just how mad you are. If you show up and listen to what she has to say, it means that you could possibly forgive her. If you don't show up, it means that you are still pissed off and can't even stand to look at her right now."

"Good lord Iz! How did you manage to get all that off of a simple request?"

"By the look in her eyes. They were hopeful. She really wants to explain everything to you, if you'll give her the chance."

I don't know why, but I was pissed. "She wants to explain things? Well she had two months to do it! We were together for two months and never told me anything! I'm not going to see her. Now leave, I need to punch something and I prefer you be out of range when I did."

Izzy left without a fight, knowing I had almost reached my breaking point. As soon as the door shut behind her, I round-house kicked the punching bag so hard that it broke of its chains and was sent flying into the wall behind it.

**Awww, poor conflicted Jace. :( Did you like all the brother/sister love that I was spreading? They may fight, but they got eachothers backs!**

**Did you guys like it? sorry if there are any spelling or grammar issues, I kinda wrote it in an hour and it's 1:30 in the morning so I'm not exactly the most awake.**

**REVIEW!**


	22. Just Leave

Scarred for Life

Chapter 22

**Hey guys! Spring Break is over and I have to go back to school tomorrow. :( This means that I will probably have to go back to updating weekly. Maybe every Saturday or Sunday?**

**I have to warn you. Things get weird. ;)  
**

Clary P.O.V

I looked up when Isabelle walked back in. "Is Jace coming?"

Izzy sighed, looking disappointed. "No Clary, he isn't. What you did to him was kind of a dick move. You can't expect him to just forgive you. He really liked you. He feels like you betrayed him."

I felt a tug at my heart. I wanted to defend myself, but everything Izzy said was true. I lied to him. I killed his dad. Can I really expect Jace to willingly hear what I have to say?

No… I can't.

"I have to go find him and explain."

"No you don't!" I looked to the person who spoke and was surprised to see Simon. I didn't even know he's been in the room. "Listen Clary, if that asshole doesn't want to listen, then leave him alone! He doesn't deserve you. Why do you want him so badly anyway? " Simon reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Because I love him!" The confession just slipped out. I didn't even try to take it back, it felt good now that it was out in the open.

"You can't love him, you've only known him for a month! You are way too good for him. Just forget about him Clary!"

I ripped my hand out of Simon's, hurt. "Who the hell do you think you are? You can't control my actions. You don't have that right! Why do you want me to forget all about Jace so bad?"

"You may think you love him, but you're lying to yourself. I love you Clary! I've loved you for 8 years. Ever since you and Luke moved in across the street from me, I knew it. You love me too Clary, you just don't want to admit it to yourself."

I was too shocked to speak. Luckily, I didn't have to.

"Wh-what?" I twisted around, again, and saw Isabelle. She had her hands covering her mouth and tears were welling in her eyes. "You told me you were over her Simon. You told me that you didn't have any more feelings for her. How could you?"

She didn't give Simon any time to answer. She turned around and bolted for the Institute door. I thought that maybe Simon would follow after her.

He didn't.

He returned his focus to me and in that instant; I was scared of Simon Lewis. He looked evil. His eyes burned with hatred for Jace, and lust for me. It reminded me of Jonathan. I shrank back into my pillows, terrified.

This wasn't the Simon I knew. The Simon that I knew was dorky, loved manga, and always had a huge smile on his face. The Simon I knew was also the one that had been my only friend for 8 years. This was so messed up!

This wasn't my best friend anymore.

"I don't know what is going on with you right now Simon, but you need to figure it out. By order of the Clave, I, Clarissa Morgenstern, hereby banish you from this Institute."

He started getting pulled back towards the door, but he resisted. He pushed against it, trying to get to me. His skin started to burn and blister but still, he fought. "I will get you for this. This isn't over. You may think it is, but I will be back." With that, he allowed himself to be forced out of the Institute."

"One problem to temporarily fixed, now let's go solve another one." I mumbled to myself, getting up and leaving the infirmary. I headed towards Jace's room.

.o.O.o.

I knocked on his door, again. "Jace Wayland, open up this god-damn door! We need to talk." I'd been knocking on Jace's door for 10 minutes and he still hadn't answered. I knew he was in there, I could hear him breathing.

Finally, it opened. Jace looked downright pissed. "No, you're going to listen to me. Did you think it was funny, knowing that you could trick me? Did you enjoy watching me fall for you? You knew for a fact that I swore to kill you, and decided that this would be a fun little game to play while you help break Daddy out of prison. Well listen up, I don't want you here anymore. Every time I look at you I want to puke. You deserve to be dead."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. I knew what I did was awful, but having him say that made it even worse. "Why don't you just kill me now? You can finally fulfill your oath."

He looked up at me with disgust and I felt a piece of my soul break off and drift away. "Eight years ago I vowed to kill you. Then, when we started dating, I made an oath to protect you. See how they conflict? After the Greater Demon battle, I was about to kill you after you told me what you were. The angels stopped me. I had to choose just one oath. In my moment of weakness, I chose to protect you. I regret that decision, but there isn't anything I can do about it now."

"Jace please-"

His gaze hardened and something in him seemed to have snapped. "No! I want you to leave the Institute and never come back! Or else I'll find a way to make sure you die."

I felt my heart disintegrate. Nothing was left. My best friend just turned into a mini Jonathan, my family was on a rampage to destroy the world, and the love of my life just told me that he wanted to kill me. I had no one.

Except Luke.

I ran to my room and dug around for my cell phone. I finally pulled it out of a pair of dirty jeans and dialed Luke.

"Hey kiddo, I thought you weren't going to call until Saturday. The last time I checked it was only Wednesday. Is everything alright?"

"Have you sold the apartment yet?"

"Not yet, but I found a young couple that's interested in the place. I was gonna sign over the deed tomorrow."

"Don't!" I screamed into the phone. "Don't sell it! I want to come home."

"What happened Clary? Are you in danger?"

"It's hard to explain. I'll tell you everything as soon as I get there. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Do you need me to call Ragnor to make a portal?"

"Nope, I can make one myself." I paused. "Luke,"

"Ya Clary?"

"Thank you."

He sounded confused. "For what?"

"For being there for me."

"Anytime Clare-Bear. I love you."

Despite the how bad my situation was, I found myself smiling. I could always count on Luke to make me feel better. "I love you to Luke, be there soon."

**First I just want you guys to answer this question.**

**1.) What the hell is wrong with Simon?**

**Second, I've decided that I'm going to dedicate each chapter to a different follower. This chapter is dedicated to heroherondaletotheresuce.**

**Until next time, **

** ByTheAngel99**


	23. The Boy Never Cried Again

Scarred for Life

Chapter 23

**Hey guys! I'm writing this chapter on the ride home from Nebraska so I'm sorry if there's any spelling mistakes.**

**Happy Easter!**

Isabelle P.O.V

_Where the hell is Clary?_

I ran around the Institute, shouting her name, but no one answered. The last time I saw her I had ran out of the infirmary because I was upset at Simon. We had sex. We finally had sex and he threw it back in my face. He only did it to try and forget Clary.

I was in the training room, decapitating dummies that had photos of Simon taped to the head, when I heard Jace screaming. I knew it was him because he was the only one with a bedroom even close to the training room. When we first moved in, he insisted that he should get this bedroom so that he could train the most.

I tried ignoring their argument, until Jace told her to leave. I could hear in his voice that he was furious. He was basically spitting the words. I heard Clary run down the hall, then complete silence. I had waited about ten minutes, thinking that she needed time to calm down, before I went to her room.

I ran into her bedroom, and froze. Everything was gone. Besides the basic bed and dresser, all of Clary's things were gone. It looked as plain and neat as Jace's room. Everything looked normal, but if I looked closer, I saw the note on her bed.

I walked over and picked it up. It was addressed to me.

_Dear Izzy,_

_ I'm writing this to you to let you know that I'm leaving. Now, before you freak out, I need to explain. When I first got to the Institute, I was terrified. Terrified that you would all figure out who I was and kill me. (You almost did.) I tried to keep myself distant, knowing that if I came to care for you, it would hurt me even more. I didn't plan on falling for Jace. The Angels know I tried not to, but alas, I did anyway._

_I fell hard._

_I want you to know that I'm going to miss you… so much. I would've stayed and tried to make it work, but Jace didn't want me there. If I had stayed, I wouldn't be able to look at him and see the hate in his eyes, knowing it's my fault. By the time you read this, I'll have my portal made, probably already gone._

_I'm truly sorry for all the pain I have caused you guys. You're the sister I never had._

_Love,_

_Clary_

_P.S I think something is wrong with Simon. For your own good, stay away from him. I've banished him from the Institute, and for good reason. I have a hunch about what might be wrong with him, but I won't tell you until I'm sure._

I'd hardly finished reading the letter before I was out of the room. I sprinted down the hallway, hardly noticing when I ran past Alec and Magnus. I just kept running, my legs screaming in protest.

I didn't stop until I was outside the Institute. I could see the shimmery blue of the portal before I had even rounded the corner. I stopped and clutched the wall, breathing hard. I saw Clary freeze, eyes wide.

"Clary," I gasped, still a little short of breath, "You can't leave. Jace didn't mean what he said. We will all miss you."

Clary smiled, a small, sad smile that told me she hadn't believed a word I said. "I'm sorry Izzy." She turned forward and stepped into the portal, leaving us behind.

I ran forward, determined to follow her into the portal. _My only friend can't just leave me! I don't have anyone else._ The portal was shrinking fast. With a final burst of speed, I lunged forward.

And ran into the Institute wall.

I couldn't take it anymore. I collapsed on the ground, sobbing. It was at that moment that Alec and Magnus rounded the corner. They tried to say something to me, but I couldn't hear them over the blood rushing into my ears.

"She's gone, Clary left." My voice sounded hollow, heartbroken. "Jace told her to leave. She loved him, so she did."

Alec and Magnus nodded in understanding. They both walked over and sat down on either side of me. They both hugged me and the tears once again washed over me. "My only friend left me, the guy I thought I loved is actually in love with my best friend, and I can't even look at Jace anymore. I don't have anyone left."

Alec started stroking my hair. "Shhhh, don't say that Iz. You have me and Magnus. You also have Mom, Dad, and Max. When they get back from Idris we will help you get through this. You'll never be alone."

I nodded, my tears slowing. "I need to go talk to Jace. I want him to know what Clary did for him."

.o.O.o.

I barged into his room, not even bothering to knock. "Clary left."

Jace shot up off his bed, where he had previously been filing his nails with his stele. "What? Why would she leave?"

"What do you mean 'why would she leave'? You told her too!"

"I didn't mean it Izzy! I was just angry at her. You know I say things I don't mean when I'm angry. I was mad that, despite everything she did, I still care for her. I can't believe she just left! Was our relationship really that insignificant that she could just pack up and walk away?"

I walked over and sat next to him on his bed, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Of course not, Jace. She wrote me a letter. She said that she left because she wanted to prove that she still cared for you. It was her final gift to you."

Jace sunk down, his head between his shoulder blades. "Can I see the letter?"

I had expected this. I grabbed the letter out of my back pocket and handed it to him. "I have to warn you, it's pretty intense. I'll just wait outside the door." All he did was nod.

While I was waiting outside, I thought back to our conversation. I'd never seen Jace look so broken, so defeated. He was always the strong one. I thought back to a story he had told me when we were 13. I couldn't remember most of it, the story had something to do with a hunting falcon… I think. One line remained stuck in my head.

I stuck my ear to the door, trying to hear if he was done reading. What I heard him whisper shocked me. "I love you too, Clary."

The next thing I knew, the door was flung open and Jace wrapped his arms around my waist. "Thank you, Izzy. You have no idea what you've just done for me."

I whispered, "Your welcome." But I was distracted. I felt something wet on my neck. I knew it wasn't me that was crying. It was Jace.

_The boy never cried again._

**So before you think that Izzy has a lady crush on Clary or something weird like that, just think about how you would feel if something happened to your best friend. I honestly found this chapter a little sad to write. Sadly, all the bad stuff isn't over yet but it will be soon! I promise!**

**This chapter is dedicated to DeUtvalda!**

**REVIEW!**

**Luv ya, **

**ByTheAngel99**


	24. Not the Same

Scarred for Life

Chapter 24

**Please put down your pitchforks and let me explain myself! I know that's it's been over two weeks since I've updated, and I apologize profusely! **

**I have been under SO much stress lately. School's wrapping up which means EOC's. :( We are on block scheduling and it's actually kind of incredible how much homework they give us!**

**Now that I've updated and you've (hopefully) put down all your sharp weapons, enjoy this new chapter!**

**P.S: Sorry this chapter is so short! I promise that there is a VERY good reason for this. You will know the reason why after you read it :)**

Clary P.O.V

I walked up the front steps, and paused. Everything about Luke's farmhouse still looked the same. The same blue, wooden house, the same red shutters, and the same wrap-around porch. The smell of farm animals' still lingered in the air, even though the pastures hadn't been used in years. Everything about my home was still the same, but I was different.

I knocked on Luke's door. I only had to wait a moment before the door was flung open with such force that it hit the wall behind it with a loud _thunk. _Luke took me into his arms before I could even get a good look at him. "Oh thank the Angel you're home, Clare-Bear. I was so worried about you!" He pulled away and held me at arm's length. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Luke. I could ask you the same question."

It was true, Luke looked terrible. In the three months I had been gone; his hair had grown out and hung around the middle of his neck. It hung greasy and limp. His scholar glasses were askew and his clothes were incredibly dirty. Luke smelled of take-out, dirt, and sweat. I don't think he had taken a shower since I left.

Luke ran his fingers through his hair, looked at his hand, grimaced, and wiped his hands on his jeans. "It's been hard, Clary. You have no idea how worried I've been! I didn't know what was happening to you. I wasn't there to protect you."

"Luke, you took me in when I was in trouble. Valentine may be my father, but as far as I'm concerned, you're my dad."

Luke smiled, all traces of sadness gone. "Thanks Clary, I needed that. Why don't you go put your stuff up in your room and I'll clean up. Do you want pizza for dinner?" I nodded and he went to call the pizza guy.

I walked up to my room and set my bag on my dresser. I laid down on my bed and sighed. I'm back with Luke. I can forget everything that has happened over the last three months and things can go back to normal. I know I'm being stupid. Things can't go back to normal. Simon's acting crazy, and your families out of prison, waging war on the Clave.

Plus, do I even want to forget? _No, I don't._ I don't want to forget Izzy, Magnus, or Max. Hell, I'll even miss Alec, even though he was kind of a jerk. I'll miss Maryse and her amazing cooking skills.

And I could never forget Jace.

"Clary! Pizza's here."

I shot up, surprised and yelled back. "Ok, I'll be down in a second." I jumped up and ran down the stairs, intent on getting my mind off of _him._

.o.O.o.

"So… Where's Simon?" I looked up from my untouched plate of food to find Luke staring at me, eyebrows raised in question.

"It's kind of hard to explain. Things just got a little crazy and he decided to stay in New York." I knew it was a lie, and I think Luke did too. I remember Luke telling me, years ago, '_That boy will follow you to the ends of the Earth.' _It was when we were in the middle of one of our only fights. Believe it or not, it was about what our favorite anime comics were.

I knew the normal Simon wouldn't have snapped like he did. He was always calm, and definitely rational. I had a theory about what happened, but I didn't want it to be right.

The rest of dinner was spent making small talk, neither of us wanting to re-open old wounds. He didn't ask about life at the Institute, and I was in no mood to share. Besides the thick, heavy tension hanging in the air, it seemed just like old times.

We cleared the dishes off the table I hugged Luke goodnight. I walked into my room, changed into my pajamas, and quickly crawled into bed and fell asleep.

.o.O.o.

I faintly remember hearing the front door opening. The squeak of the hinges piercing through the sound of silence that hung around the entire house. I should have been more worried, but I just thought it was Luke going out to howl at the moon, or whatever it was werewolves did.

I should have jumped out of bed, grabbed my dagger and stele, ran downstairs, and investigated.

But I didn't.

Instead I just rolled over and fell back asleep, forgetting everything the moment my eyes closed.

Until I heard the scream.

**There's a reason I made it so short. ;) I know that this is a cliffy of epic proportions, but I couldn't resist! No one ever said I was nice. I promise that I will update by next Sunday! If I don't, I give you permission to come hunt me down with all your scary weapons!**

**This chapter is dedicated to tealshoelaces. Go to her profile and check out her new story! It's great!**

**See you soon,**

**ByTheAngel99**


	25. Unwelcome House Guest

Scarred for Life

Chapter 25

**Hey everyone! I just want you all to know that it was EXTREMELY hard trying to get this chapter online. My dad went snooping through my laptop and read this chapter, then he started screaming at me because he thought it was too inappropriate, and then he tried to delete it! I managed to save it so, enjoy.**

_Previously:_

_I faintly remember hearing the front door opening. The squeak of the hinges piercing through the sound of silence that hung around the entire house. I should've been more worried, but I just thought it was Luke going out to howl at the moon, or whatever it was werewolves did._

_I should've jumped out of bed, grabbed my dagger and stele, ran downstairs, and investigated. _

_But I didn't. _

_Instead I just rolled over and fell back asleep, forgetting everything the moment my eyes closed._

_Until I heard the scream. _

Clary P.O.V

I shot out of bed, terrified. The only other person that should be in the house is Luke. Luke never screamed.

I ran into his room, my socks muffling the sounds of my footsteps. I threw open his door and ran halfway in, taking on a fighting stance. I did a quick scan of the area. At first glance, everything was normal. It was only when I looked closer that I saw abnormalities. A picture frame that hung next to the door was lopsided, the blankets' on Luke's bed were wrinkled and twisted, and the window was open, causing the chilly night air to raise goose bumps on my arms and legs.

If I listened closely, I could hear raspy breathing. I looked to my right, towards the bed, but didn't see anything. Slowly, I crept towards the other side. I peeked around the corner, and my heart stopped.

Luke was lying on the ground, in a puddle of his own blood.

I dropped down on my knees and slid towards him. I picked his head up and cradled it in my lap. Tears burned the back of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I had to stay strong. If Luke saw me weak, he would worry about me, instead of focusing on healing himself.

"Who did this to you?" I looked down, trying to see where he was injured. There was a stab wound on his chest, a few inches from his heart.

Luke looked up, collecting the strength to speak. "J-Jonathan. Get out of here Clary, you aren't safe."

I wasn't surprised when he said it was Jonathan that did this. The stab wound said it all. It was Jonathan's signature. Stabbing right next to the heart, but not directly through it, allowed the victim to die slower, making them suffer longer. "I can't leave you. You're the only family I have left."

There was a ghost of a smile in Luke's eyes. He raised a hand, which was visibly shaking, and placed it on my cheek. "You know as well as I do that I'm not going to survive this. It was a silver dagger. I can't heal with pieces of silver still in my bloodstream. Dying won't be too bad. I'll finally get to see your mother."

"Don't talk like that! I can't just let you die."

Luke had to take deep breaths, visibly paling with each one. He started breathing the words out. I leaned down closer, trying to understand what he was trying to say. "I want to stay, but it's just too late. I want you to promise me something before I go."

I nodded my head, determined to do one last thing for him. Luke breathed hard now, his face still paling with every breath he took. I leaned closer, needing to hear his final words. "Don't forget who you are. Don't forget the scared little girl that I found years ago, and don't forget all the things you've had to overcome to become the headstrong young woman that you are now. Those experiences make you who you are. Your mother wouldn't want you to become bitter at the whole world. You know, you look just like your mom, especially your eyes. You have your mother's eyes." A small, distant smile spread across his face as his eyes shut.

I tried checking for his pulse, but there wasn't one.

It seemed as though something in my mind just snapped. All the emotions I've ever felt in my entire life came rushing back, threatening to overwhelm me. I couldn't let that happen. I pushed everything into a little box, locking it away in the very back of my heart and fully intending on never letting it out again. I no longer felt anything. I was numb.

I took my time walking back to my room. When I got there, I walked to my dresser, changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and picked up my bag. The only things I had unpacked were my toiletries. The door slammed shut behind me, but I just continued packing up my stuff. "Leaving so soon?" Jonathan's voice carried an echo around the entire room.

I ignored him and moved onto packing up some art stuff, deciding I wanted to start drawing again once I got to my next destination. Wherever that was.

Getting frustrated with my silence, Jonathan came over and yanked on my arm. "You will look me in the eye when I talk to you. You owe me some respect!"

"You killed the only family I had left. What do you want me to do? Get down and bow?" The words themselves were assertive, but my tone was bland, lifeless.

"That mutt wasn't your family, Father and I are. Now hurry along and pack your stuff. We are going back to the Morgenstern Manor."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, you sick son of a bitch."

His eyes gleamed, fury evident. He back-handed me and I flew into the wall. I could've fought, but I didn't understand the point. _Why fight when there's nothing else worth fighting for?_

Jonathan picked me up from the wall that I was leaning against and carried me over to my bed, dropping me roughly onto it. "It looks like someone's going to have to teach you some respect."

He dropped on top of me and assaulted my lips with a rough kiss, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth. Everything about it felt wrong, but I didn't stop him. I just laid there, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. His hands started to roam my body, greedy and uncaring. Occasionally he would let out a strange noise, clearly enjoying himself. Either he didn't know that I wasn't responding in the slightest, or he just didn't care. I myself assumed it was the latter.

He tore off my shirt. Jonathan stopped and got on his knees, straddling me. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this. I've felt something for you ever since we were children, but Father frowned upon it. But Father isn't here now, is he?"

It was when he started reaching for the button of my pants that I broke free of my numbness. _By the Angel, he's going to rape me! That's gross! Luke was right, my mother wouldn't want this._ I let one emotion out of its locked box: pride.

Jonathan was still trying to undo the button when I reached up and kneed him in the groin. He fell sideways, holding his package. I ran for the door, not expecting my legs to fall out from under me. Jonathan chuckled, taking his time getting off the bed and walking towards me. "Didn't you notice? I drew a paralyzing rune on your legs. I figured something like this would happen. Though I must say, you cooperated much longer than I thought you would."

He was getting closer to me, and another emotion slipped out of the box: fear. _Somebody please help me!_ As if answering my prayers, my door was broken open, coming clean off its hinges. It was too dark to see any facial features, but I knew by the lean, muscular build and golden hair that it was the last person I'd ever expect to come to my rescue.

It was Jace, my Jace.

He walked into the room, assessing the situation. He first looked at me, his eyes a mixture of relief and sadness. Then his eyes shifted to Jonathan, a burning hatred making itself known. "You disgusting little demon. How can one person be so messed up that they want to fuck their own sister?"

Choosing to ignore the question, he took another step closer to me. Jonathan crouched down and played with one of my curls. I tried to crawl away, but he grabbed my face, preventing me from going anywhere. "You aren't going to kill me, Jace, unless you want to get in trouble with the Clave. I'm a Shadowhunter, we can't kill our own kind."

Jace let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Since when has that ever stopped you? Besides, you and your precious Daddy are the Clave's most wanted. There's a price on your heads, a very large price I might add." Jace tapped his chin, as if in deep thought. "I have been wanting to get myself some new shoes."

Jonathan casually picked up a knife that had been sitting on my side table and flipped it up into the air. "Well you won't be getting those shoes anytime soon."

Jace also picked up a knife out of his belt and cocked his head to the side. "We'll see about that." With that, they lunged at each other, Jonathan jumping over me to get to Jace. I crawled over to the wall, not sure what to do. Without the use of my legs, I was a sitting duck.

One look at the two boys and you could tell that this fight would not be easy. They were built exactly the same; long and lean, like panthers. Whereas Jace had a little bit more muscle, Jonathan had about 2 more inches when it came to height. They were both fast, and very light on their feet.

It seemed like they took turns stabbing at each other, turning it into a dance. When one lunged, the other would either duck or spin away. _This would be beautiful to draw._

The moment was ruined all too quickly when Jace managed to land a crippling blow to Jonathan's abdomen. Jonathan landed heavily on his hands and knees, blade falling out of his hand and to the right of him. Jace started running forward, intending to finish him off, when Jonathan twisted a ring on his right hand. It glowed red and the air around Jonathan started to shimmer. His form started looking a little translucent.

When he had almost disappeared completely, he turned and looked straight at me. A terrifying smirk adorned his face. "This isn't over, my sweet little Clarissa. You will be seeing me again."

Even after he had left, his smirk lingered in my mind, refusing to let me forget it. By now, the rune had worn off and I could move again. I brought my legs up to my chest and buried face into my knees. I could've cried, hell, I even deserved to cry after all I had been through tonight, but I didn't.

I heard someone crouch in front of me and I looked up to see Jace, offering me his leather jacket. I gladly accepted it, considering I was only in my bra and my jeans. I put it on and zipped it up. I breathed in deep, inhaling Jace's unique scent.

He didn't make any move to touch me, and that told me he was still angry at me for lying to him. I was disappointed, even though it was all my fault. Jace cleared his throat and stood up. "Come on, we have to get back to the Institute."

I nodded and stood up also, willing to follow him into the pits of Hell.

**Before you guys kill me, I killed Luke because I just didn****'t feel like he was an important part of the story (at least my story. He's a huge role in the actual books) **

**P.S: What did you think of the whole rape thing?**

**P.P.S: It;s over 2,000 words! YAY!**

**P.P.P.S: I might not be able to update for a while. I'm going on a Washington D.C trip starting Thursday and I don't get back until Saturday so I don't have to much time to write. I'll try my best to update before I leave.**

**See ya soon,**

**ByTheAngel99**


	26. AN Please Read

**Hi guys. Sorry it's not an update, but I do have a very good reason. My grandpa (who's been fighting liver cancer for 13 years) was sent to the hospital last week because they found a tumor in his throat. They were planning on doing a surgery today, but yesterday he passed away. My grandpa and I were very close, and it hurts. I'm in Nebraska right now and the funeral is on Monday. **

**When I found out, I kinda had a little breakdown. My birthday is in 9 days (May 20) and he wasn't alive long enough to see me a year older. I've been stressed about it all week but you guys, my wonderful readers, were always on the back of my mind. I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm going to take a week off to be with family, and hopefully I'll have a new chapter next weekend.**

**I love you Grandpa,**

**ByTheAngel99**

**Question of the Day: Have any of you ever lost a loved one, and turned towards writing to make you feel better? **

**The day before he passed away, my mom called that night and said that Grandpa wasn't doing very well and that he probably won't live through the weekend. I was so heartbroken and, surprisingly, all I wanted to do was write. I went down to me room, and just typed. Multiple times my vision was blurred because I had so many tears streaming down my face. **

**I'm really proud of my essay. I hope my grandpa, wherever he may be now, knows that I did something for him.**


	27. A Door Apart

Scarred for Life

Chapter 26

**I know, I know. I't's been almost a month since I've updated. I've been juggling multiple events in my life and am just now starting to sort it all out. Now that school's out I should be able to update more regularly, but I do have a BUSY summer planned.**

**Enjoy :)**

Clary P.O.V

We went outside and Jace stood aside while I made a portal. We stepped through and found ourselves in Central Park. Jace griped about having to pay for a cab, clearly channeling all of his frustration about Jonathan and putting it toward more mundane things. During the entire ride back to the Institute, Jace sat so close to the door opposite of me that I was afraid he would fall out.

Every inch between us felt like a mile. I longed to touch him, to have him hold me. Nowadays, Jace was the only person that made me feel truly safe. I wanted to explain my reasons to him, to try and get him to understand, but every time I opened my mouth he would hold up a hand, signaling that he definitely didn't want to talk.

When we got back to the Institute, Jace had thrown a wad of cash at the driver and was halfway up the Institute steps before I could even open my door. I said a hurried thanks to the cab driver and followed after Jace.

When I stepped out of the elevator, I was greeted with silence. I look around the front room and found Max asleep on one of the couches. I couldn't help but smile a little. He looked so cute with one arm hanging off the couch and his glasses sitting crookedly on his nose. I walked over and took his glasses off, setting them on the side table. I knew Maryse would be mad if they fell off and broke.

Shit, Maryse! I jumped away from Max and jogged down the hall towards my room, not ready to face 'The Dictator'. Maryse always seemed to know everything that happened at the Institute right when it happens and I knew that she was just itching for the chance to give me a verbal smack-down.

As soon as I got to my room I locked the door and threw my bag onto the bed. I grabbed a towel, some pajamas, and a bottle of shampoo and walked into the en-suite bathroom. I took my time lathering, shaving, and soaping, trying to get the feel of Jonathan's hands off of my body.

.o.O.o.

Almost an hour later, I emerged from the bathroom. Dressed in sweats and an old tank top, I left my room intent on getting a late night snack. I had just passed Jace's room, which was the first door in the hallway branching off from the front room, when I heard his door start to open. Not wanting to get into any drama when I was this exhausted, I hid behind a column in the front room, directly behind the couch Max was currently sleeping on.

"Come on, Jace. Can't I stay just a teensy bit longer?" An unidentifiable female said, sounding like she was coming from Jace's room.

"No. You've served your purpose, now go home. I'll call you when I need you again." Jace sounded annoyed, yet oddly euphoric.

"Oh please baby, you know that if you let me stay I can rock your world _all _night long." My stomach churned when I heard the highly suggestive tone she used to deliver her not so subtle innuendo.

"I've told you this before, and sadly, it turns out that I have to tell you yet again. I'm not interested in a relationship. Especially one with you. You're good for a quick lay, nothing more, nothing less. If you keep getting clingy, then I'm gonna have to stop calling you for good."

I peeked around the column, trying to see who he was talking to. It was Kaelie, the waitress from Taki's. Jace had taken me there on a few dates and I remembered Kaelie because of her frightening, yet beautiful, blue eyes. Now she stood before Jace wearing almost nothing with her arms crossed and bottom lip stuck out in a pout, looking like a petulant child. "If that's the way you want to be, than fine. Call me when that little green-eyed bitch of yours refuses to put out again."

I saw Jace's eyes flash with anger and for a moment, just one moment, I thought that he would defend me. Then I saw him smirk and I knew that I was sorely mistaken. "You'll be first on my list."

Hearing the dismissal in his tone, Kaelie tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder and made her way over to the elevator. It wasn't until she got in the elevator and turned around that she saw me, pressed up against the wall, trying my hardest to sink into the stone. Kaelie tossed me a victorious smirk and right as the elevator door closed, she mouthed, _He's mine now, slut. _And with that, the ever-classy Kaelie left the Institute.

It wasn't until she left that I could fully comprehend what had just happened. _By the Angel, Jace just had sex… with Kaelie. Why would he do that? Did our relationship really mean so little to him? _These were my thoughts for the next half hour. Whenever I managed to push one away, I was assaulted with ten more.

Finally, I just gave up. I went over to the couch and sat down next to Max, careful not to disturb him. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. If I could only fall asleep, I could forget about all the madness, if only for a little while. I welcomed sleep as it washed over me in a wave.

.o.O.o.

Jace P.O.V

I walked out of my bedroom, shirtless, and started towards the kitchen. All I could think about is how much I wanted a sandwich_. It's amazing how many calories sex can burn. _I felt a pang in my chest, immediately feeling guilty. A certain red-head popped into my head. _Damnit Jace, quit thinking about her. She murdered your dad, you have a right to do whatever the hell you want. _

I was walking through the front room when I heard a sigh. I turned around and had to contain the chuckle that was threatening to escape. There, on the couch, was Clary and Max. My little buddy was laying on top of Clary, his head on her feet and his feet on top of her face. His little toes were shoved up her nostrils, forcing her to breath through her mouth.

Feeling a tiny bit bad for both of them, I went over and picked up Max. He may be 10, but he still only weighs about 70 pounds. I carried him to his room and placed him in his bed. I pulled the covers up to his chin and walked back out into the front room.

Clary had shifted on the couch and her neck was now hanging off at an awkward angle. Knowing it was a bad idea, I walked over and picked her up bridal style. She was only a little heavier than Max and it won't take much strength to get her back to her bedroom. As if it was a reflex, Clary hands came up and wrapped themselves around my neck. She turned her head and buried her face in my chest, mumbling something unintelligible.

Walking to her room, I couldn't help but revel in the feel of her body against mine. It felt good, right. I knew it was wrong but I craved her. Every second I held her, I felt more and more guilty. I shouldn't have had sex with Kaelie. I only did it because I needed to channel my frustration into something.

When we got her room I laid her very gently on her bed, being careful not to wake her up. I pulled the covers up to her chest and stood there. I couldn't bring myself to leave. I bent down and kissed her forehead, loving the feel of her soft skin on my lips. Knowing that my resolve was weakening, I quickly left the room and shut the door between us.

From that moment on, I vowed to always keep a door between us.

**So ya, we see a super sappy Jace. I love it when he gets all sensitive. ;) **

**Question Time:**

**1.) How do you think Isabelle will react when she sees that Clary's back?**

**2.) How's Jace going to deal with his issues?**

**3.) What are Valentine and Jonathan planning?**

**4.) Where the hell is Simon?**

**Tell me what you think. Review!**

**Bye guys,**

**ByTheAngel99**

**P.S: Check out my one-shot called Coming Home. It's a story I wrote for Memorial Day!**


	28. Keep Your Mouth Shut!

Scarred for Life

Chapter 27

Clary P.O.V

I woke up the next morning with the sun shining directly into my eyes. I looked to my right and saw that I hadn't shut my curtains the night before. That was strange, considering it was part of my nightly routine.

_What happened last night?_

It was that question that seemed to set off a sort-of chain reacton. Memories from last night came flooding back to her all at once, momentarily paralyzing her. She saw Luke, his blood spilling over her hands. She saw Jonathan, struggling to unbutton her jeans. Most importantly, she saw Jace, her knight in shining armor, protecting her when she failed to protect herself.

If it weren't for Jace, Jonathan would've- he would have _raped _me. Out of the millions of brothers out there, why did I have to get the one that believes in incest?

No matter how hard I tried to hold back the tears they just started falling. After years of dry eyes, I let myself have my few moments of weakness.

_Get it together Clary, no one can see you like this. You have 10 seconds, and then you'll be strong again. You _have _to stay strong._

10… 9… 8…

The tears stopped falling.

7… 6… 5…

I wiped the tear streaks off my face.

4… 3… 2…

I walked over to the door, taking a deep breath.

1…

I flung the door open and walked out, ready to face my train-wreck of a life head-on.

.o.O.o.

_2 weeks later_

I was in the training room finishing up my workout. I was currently taking out my growing frustration on the helpless little punching bag in the corner.

For two weeks, I've had to see Kaelie molest Jace in basically every room in the Institute. It seems as though she's at the Institute more than Robert and Maryse are. Whenever I walk into the same room that they're in, Kaelie immediately jumps on top of Jace's lap and starts groping him. Every time she does Jace seems annoyed, but makes no move to remove her.

Also, Isabelle refuses to even be in the same room as me. I know it was a dick move for me to leave without telling her, especially after we've became such good friends, but I've never felt so alone. On top of it all Alec can't stop glaring at me. His blue eyes pierce my soul, trying to decide if he can murder me yet.

Through all of this, Magnus just stands next to Alec with a confused, yet gleeful expression on his face. I think out of everyone, he's the one that understands why I've done the things I've done the most, and in turn I can understand why he won't step forward and help me. Alec will feel like he's being betrayed by Magnus. I know Magnus loves his boyfriend too much to jeopardize their relationship and I would never want to put him in that position.

So for now, I'm completely alone.

With a final grunt and hard kick, I break the punching bag off its chain and send it flying into the wall two feet behind it. I head over to a bench and pick up a towel, wiping off the sweat that was steadily trickling down my face. I hear a low whistle and look towards the door.

There, in all his glittery glory, is Magnus. "Did you do that?" He points towards the punching bag and I nod. "I'm impressed."

I raise my eyebrows, allowing some bitterness to slip into my voice. "Ya, well I have a lot of issues that I need to deal with and punching stuff always helps."

Magnus sighed and ran a hand through his hair, a tired gesture. "Why do you do this Clary? You always slip into this rude, sarcastic shell when you're upset. Even though you do have plenty of reasons to hate your life, I kind of understand where you're coming from. I just want to know why?"

"How do you know that this bitchy girl isn't who I really am? The cutesy, sweet little _Rebecca Fray_ died the moment Luke did!" My voice got softer and I looked down at my shoes. "She can never come back."

The room became silent after my little outburst. It was so quiet that I was scared Magnus had actually left. Then I felt hands on my shoulders, pulling me towards him. He enveloped me in his warm, brotherly arms and for the first time in 2 week, I didn't feel alone.

"First of all, you get angry very easily. It must be the fact that you're a red-head. They're always the feistiest. Second of all, you listen to me, Clary. I know that you are a great person, despite what anyone else may think. I know that you have had more burdens than the Angel's themselves."

I pulled back, not sure where this was going. "What do you mean '_you know'?"_

If I didn't know any better, I would say that Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, looked guilty. "Well, you know when you were fighting all those Greater Demons and you passed out?" I nodded my head in confirmation. "Ummm, I might have looked through your memories to make sure I didn't have to kill you."

I felt my eyes start to widen in panic, but I forced myself to keep up a good poker face. "What memories did you see, Magnus?"

"_All _of them."

With those three words, I felt all my hard work be destroyed. If he's seen all my memories, then that means that he's seen the one secret that I've devoted my life to trying to hide. I'd hidden it so well, that only two people know.

In an instant, Magnus was thrown back against the wall, one of my hands pressing lightly on his throat and my other hand pinning his wrists. To an outsider, the sight was probably comical- a tiny little red-head restraining a 6 foot tall warlock.

"You can't tell anyone, Magnus! I swore an oath under Heaven, it can't be broken!"

Magnus tsked, the rhinestones on his eyelids twinkling as he shook his head back and forth. "Don't get your panties in a wad, Clarissa. _You _can't tell anyone. _I _on the other hand, can tell anyone I want!"

I glared at him, doing my best to scare the shit out him with my eyes. "Keep your mouth shut! No one can know, especially _him._"

Magnus' eyes glinted with amusement. "Aww come on, Clare-Bear. You don't want your Jacey-kins to know that you didn't actually murder his daddy?"

**I know that it's been three weeks but in my defense, I am super busy! Everyone's preparing for high school softball so that means Open Field, Weights and Conditioning, Softball practices and tournaments, PLUS I have work. Honestly, it sucks!** **No more excuses, I'll just do my best to update more frequently.**

**I owe the idea of Michael Wayland still being alive to Serenity Shadowstar. How's that for a dramatic plot twist? ;)**

**Please Review!**

**~ByTheAngel99**


	29. Memories, Unburied

Scarred for Life

Chapter 28

**I know that, once again, it's been forever since I've updated and I'm apologizing with an extra long chapter. I know that at the beginning of the first flashback it mostly repeats what was said in the first chapter, but as you read you should notice that some new details were added, explaining how Clary pulled off keeping Michael alive.**

**Enjoy :)**

Clary P.O.V

"You can't Magnus, I swore on the Angel."

Magnus rolled his eyes, clearly getting frustrated. "Didn't we just go over this? _You _swore on the Angel. _You _can't tell Jace. _I_, however, can do whatever the hell I want. Just one question, dear: Why is it such a big deal whether or not Jace finds out? Wouldn't it be better if he found out? He'll forgive you; you'll make up, get married, and live happily ever after killing thousands of demons together. I believe that's how those typical fairy tales work."

"If you really saw all of my memories, then I think you know exactly why I can't tell Jace."

Magnus smirked, his feline eyes flashing. "I'm centuries old. There are so many memories in my head, I'm bound to forget something."

_Flashback: Herondale Manor. That night. 8 years ago._

_"I can create a rune that will make him forget everything! That way he can't tell the Clave anything! The Circle will remain a secret and Michael will get to live!" I didn't know much about the Circle, but I figured that they weren't mindless killers. I drew my stele out of my belt, already picturing a rune in my mind._

_"Clarissa Morgenstern!" my father snapped, "You will not stand here and make a mockery of my prized organization! He deserves to die, therefore he will! Now take the knife from your brother and stab it through this man's disgusting heart!"_

_There had to be another way. I refused to let this innocent man's blood be on my hands. The rune flashed in my mind again. It was then that I realized it wasn't a memory rune._

_I heard Michael speak up and I turned to look at him. __"Kill me. I understand you don't want to and I'm grateful, but just kill me."_

_Bewildered, I whispered, "You want to die?" His only response was a nod. "Why would you want to die?"_

_Michael just looked fondly at his son and said to me, "He has his instructions, and I know Valentine won't hurt Jace. Even he is above murdering children." He smiled. " I have lived a good life and seen many things. I've met the love of my life and had a beautiful son. I've rid the world of thousands of demons! I have lived a full life and I'm ready to enter the next world."_

_I dropped down onto my knees bin front of him. "Those all sound wonderful. Wouldn't you want to experience more? You can finish raising your son and kill thousands of more demons!" I had to convince this man that his life _was_ worth living. He can't just give up. I found out how to save him, but he's telling me that he doesn't want it._

_"I've also had horrible times. I've seen my love, Celine, murdered, and I've been faced death hundreds of times. But most importantly, I joined in the Circle because I thought it was a noble cause, only to find out it's only interest is enslaving the world, and yet I went along with it."_

_So obviously he was ready to die. Though there was still one thing that didn't match up. "What are you going to do about your son? He's not old enough to take care of himself."_

_Jace, who was watching the scene unfold with tears in his eyes, glared at me and hissed, "What are you talking about? I'm older than YOU! Don't stand there and act like you know everything!"_

_"I promise you, Clarissa Morgenstern, I won't blame you for killing me. You have to do this to please your father, so do it. Take the knife and stab it through my heart. It isn't that difficult, I promise you." _

_Doing what Michael said, I finally took the dagger out of Jonathon's hand. Turning back to Michael, I hunched my shoulders inward and hid both my stele and the dagger from everyone else's sight. As quickly as I could, I pictured the rune and carved it into the hilt of the dagger. All the while, Michael watched with wide eyes. When it was finished and he could finally see what it meant, he looked up and gave a tiny smile._

_I placed the dagger over his heart and paused for the last time. I looked into Jace's eyes, knowing that I was about to 'kill' the only family he had left and whispered, "Forgive me." before plunging the knife into Michael Wayland's heart. The entire time watching the rune on the hilt, and praying that it does what it says. _

_Cheat death._

_Later that night._

_Luke didn't stop running until we were deep within Brocelind Forest. Once he found a clearing I jumped off his back and turned around so he could Change._

"_Clary?" Luke's deep cut through the silence in the air like a knife and I couldn't help the small squeal that escaped my lips. Luke walked around and kneeled in front of me. "Are you alright, Clare?"_

_I always hated it when people asked me that. Mommy used to ask me that after training sessions with Dad and Jonathan, even though she could plainly see the bruises and cuts all over my body._

_I ignored the question and instead asked, "How did you know the Clave was coming for me tonight?"_

_Luke reached out and smoothed my hair down. "I didn't. I've known for a while that I had to get you out of there. It just happened that the Clave was there to distract Valentine. I'm so sorry that it took me so long to come get you. I kept hoping that maybe Jocelyn would come back and make everything right."_

"_She can't make anything right if she's dead." I looked down at my feet, not able to look at Luke's face._

_He put two fingers under my chin and forced me to look into his warm brown eyes. "Do you honestly think that she's dead, Clary?"_

_I shrugged. "I don't know. What am I supposed to think? She's been gone for two years. Either she's dead or she doesn't love me enough to come back."_

_Luke gathered me into his arms and started rubbing my back. "Of course she loves you, Clary. You are the most selfless little girl I know, and I think Michael Wayland will agree."_

_My head shot up, almost hitting Luke's chin. "How do you know about Mr. Wayland?" _

"_We met up when I was scouting out your house tonight. He warned me that the Clave was coming and he also told me what you did for him." Luke's face suddenly went very serious. "That was very risky,  
Clary. If Valentine would have seen you, you could have been killed."_

"_So you're saying… that my rune worked?!"_

_Luke chuckled and mumbled something along the lines of 'that being the only thing you heard'._

_I put my hands on his shoulders and shook him a little. "Luke! Did. My. Rune. Work?"_

_Luke smirked and pointed over my shoulder. "Turn around and see for yourself." Sure enough, standing behind me was the man who I stabbed in the heart not even 3 hours prior._

"_Michael!" I ran and jumped into his arms, not even caring that I hardly know him. He was alive, and my father wasn't after him anymore._

"_Hello, Clarissa. It's good to see you without a dagger in your hand." After I had laughed a little he set me on the ground. "How old are you, Clarissa?"_

"_I'm eight, but I'll be nine in three months."_

_He touched my face, a fatherly gesture. "You've been forced to grow up so early. You never even got a chance to grow up. You're my son's age, did you know that?" _

_I nodded. I had thought that he was around my age. "I thought so. When are you gonna go get Jace? I'm sure that he'll be really happy you didn't actually die."_

_When Michael's face hardened, I thought that I had said something wrong. I opened my mouth to apologize but Mr. Wayland had already started talking. "Jace can't know that I'm still alive. I think that it's best for everyone if he just thinks I'm dead."_

_I blinked, trying to process what he was saying. Why wouldn't he want to see his son again? "That doesn't make any sense."_

_I hadn't realized I had said that last part aloud until Michael started talking again. "Think about it, Clary. If Jace thinks I'm dead, then Valentine and the Circle won't have any use for him ever again. If he does know I'm still alive and Valentine finds out, he'll use Jace as leverage to lure me back. It's safer."_

"_It might be safer, but it still isn't better. You're the only family Jace has left and you are thinking of just abandoning him. The only reason that rune I made even exists is because of him. I thought about how crushed Jace would be if I actually did murder his only living relative. If you think about it, you are only alive because of your son. Now you just want to leave him?!"_

_After my little outburst, Luke came over and stood next to Michael. "Tell him, Luke. Tell him that he's trying to do is wrong."_

_Luke looked sad, defeated. "I can't do that, Clary. I know you don't know Jace very well, but how would you feel if your dad tortured him? Would you want him to go through the same pain that you went through?" I shook my head pitifully. "Then you have to understand that Michael is only trying to protect Jace. It's the best choice."_

_I could feel my shoulders slump inwards and my frizzy, red hair fall in front of my face. I knew that Luke and Michael were right, but it still felt so wrong. I heard one of the grown-ups shift and kneel down in front of me. I felt him move my hair away from my face and I looked up to see Michael. "We aren't done yet, Clary. I need you to swear an Angel's oath that you won't tell anyone, especially Jace, that I am still alive."_

_I made my eyes really big and pouted out my lip a little bit, hoping to use my little girl cuteness to my advantage. "Do I have to? I promise that I won't tell anyone." I batted my eyelashes for good measure._

_Luke looked absolutely horrified. "I've seen that look before. Make her swear that oath before she takes your will away. Don't let her wrap you around her little finger. By the Angel, do it now!"_

_I sighed, making a mental note in my mind not to use that look on anyone when Luke was around. "Fine, you win. I Clarissa Morgenstern, hereby swear on the Angel that I will not tell anyone, especially Jonathan Herondale, that his father, Michael Herondale, is still alive. If I do, may I be struck down where I stand. Satisfied?"_

_Michael nodded, traces of humor sparkling in his eyes. "Immensely. I owe my life to you, Clarissa Morgenstern. If there ever comes a time in your life that you need help, send a fire message to this address." He handed me a slip of paper. "Be safe. I'll be sure to watch over both you and my son. I have a feeling that you two will be seeing each other again."_

_End Flashback_

"Satisfied? You big bully." I mumbled the last part, afraid that I would wake up the next morning as a rat.

Magnus smiled, clearly enjoying himself. "I must admit my memories are phenomenal, but I think yours are a close second. Yours has a certain… _je ne sais quoi _ that mine just can't compete with. Oh, and about the Jace matter. I'm going to tell him about Michael with or without your permission. If you want, you can try and stop me." He stopped and looked at his nails, seemingly unconcerned. "I haven't had a good fight in a while."

I knew I had lost this battle. I couldn't fight Magnus, he was a friend; as well as who-knows-how-old warlock with exceptionally strong powers. "If you're going to tell Jace, fine, but I won't be within punching distance when you do."

Magnus smiled. A huge, victorious smile that practically screams 'WINNER'. "And just where do you think you'll be then?"

I rolled my eyes, like the answer was obvious. "In Idris of course, getting rid of my father and brother, once and for all."

Magnus' smile dropped off his face and he sighed. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

**I know that there was a lot of different emotions throughout this chapter, but it's about midnight and I'm really tired. I'm sure that I'll read back through this tomorrow and be absolutely horrified. I hope it turned out okay though :)**

**I want to dedicate this chapter to everyone who reviewed. Seeing all the great reviews when I opened my email everyday really pushed me to get a new chapter up.**

**Check out Foxface'sSpecialPie's new story The Little Ginger and Prince Not-So-Charming. She's been running a few ideas by me and it really is a good story!**

**Until next time,**

**ByTheAngel99**

**P.S: Sorry if I'm kinda acting like a bitch. I've just had a VERY stressful summer.**


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